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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408288">Exchanged Lives</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrella_Sebaek/pseuds/Estrella_Sebaek'>Estrella_Sebaek</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>EXO - 1 Song 1 Story [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>EXO (Band)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Butterfly Effect, Byun Baekhyun is Bad at Feelings, Day after Day, EXO - 1 Song 1 Story, Editor Byun Baekhyun, Fluff and Angst, Implied Sexual Content, Inspired by EXO’s song, M/M, Mention of Sesoo, Oh Sehun is also Bad at Feelings, Photographer Oh Sehun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-07-20</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-08-18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-05 03:35:37</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>7</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>30,438</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/25408288</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Estrella_Sebaek/pseuds/Estrella_Sebaek</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>He was outgoing, he was shy. They were inseparable.<br/>Things went wrong when they were young, impulsive and confused.<br/>A different expectation, a wrong gesture, some words left unspoken and they drifted apart.</p><p>He became reticent, he learnt to open up. They turned into strangers.<br/>They ended up living the live they thought the other would have lived.<br/>Then they crossed path again, after almost a decade.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Byun Baekhyun/Oh Sehun</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>EXO - 1 Song 1 Story [6]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1660081</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>40</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>43</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Butterfly Effect 01.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Hello Sebaekists, I managed to start posting this in July yeahhh! Their characters changed quite drastically over the course of the story, I hope you’ll enjoy the contrast. </p><p>As always, happy reading!</p><p>BGM &amp; Lyrics: Butterfly Effect / Day After Day - EXO<br/>Eng Lyrics @ itshysterie (Twitter) / Vivi @ hallyuplus.net</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
It was 7:45 in the morning, students rushed towards their classrooms before the bell rang, parents gathered together for their morning gossips after sending their children to schools, office workers tried their very best to squeeze their not-so-tiny bodies into the metro which seemed to be an impossible mission. While drivers were stuck in the endless line of cars on the main road, honking their horns impatiently, Baekhyun was sitting attentively in front of his work station, focusing on his monitor while taking occasional sips of his expresso. He was about to finalise his article for the latest issue of <em>Butterfly Effect.</em> </p><p>The name sounded very much like a scientific magazine, but it had absolutely nothing to do with chaos theory like <em>“tornados are influenced by distant actions like butterflies flapping their wings in another continent weeks ago”</em>, nor was it related to the short story <em>“A Sound of Thunder”</em> written by Ray Bradbury. In short, the founder of the magazine thought Butterfly Effect was a nice sounding term, so it was chosen. No mathematical models, no complicated theories. </p><p>In Baekhyun’s own words, the name of the magazine meant some of the articles could serve as an inspiration to some people, living in a completely unknown country in another continent, and potentially changed their lives, hopefully in a good way, not like a tornado. This would be his definition of the <em>Butterfly Effect</em>.</p><p>He had been an editor here for seven years, his articles covered various areas, from travelling to interior design, literature to environmental protection and more. His unique choice of topics and well-written articles caught general public’s interest, earning him renowned reputation among the industry. Baekhyun didn’t care about fame anyway, he just wanted to finish his job on time, get his pay check by month-end, settle his bills and deposit the rest of his money in his savings account earning minimal interest. He didn’t care much about money, neither. Life was dull, repetitive, and it would just worsen with ageing.</p><p>Done with the final proof-reading, he clicked the save button and realised that his coffee cup was empty. Taking a quick glance at his mobile, 8:55am, his morning tranquility would soon come to an end with his colleagues gradually arriving. He let out a barely audible sigh. Alright, time for another expresso.</p><p>“Good morning Baekhyun oppa! You arrived early again!” A high-pitched energetic voice was heard from far end. It was Wendy, one of the assistant editor. Baekhyun sighed, he arrived at 7:30am everyday, why would she even bother to repeat this every morning.</p><p>“Hi.” Out of politeness, Baekhyun greeted Wendy before heading towards pantry for another dose of caffeine. He walked pass a few colleagues on his way, most of them just nodded their heads and didn’t say anything. They didn’t attempt to start a conversation with Baekhyun, and honestly he was grateful for that. Most of the colleagues learnt the hard way of how hard it was to keep a conversation going with Baekhyun, it would just die down within minutes, and they stopped trying after a while. There were probably only a handful of exceptions, Wendy was one of them.</p><p>Baekhyun entered the meeting room just in time. It was their regular meeting, talking about plans for next couple of months. He sat down and waited for the chief editor to kick start the meeting. His colleagues were chitchatting and stealing occasional glance of him. Baekhyun knew very well what they were talking about, him. They called him the iceberg, the nicer ones, mostly the ladies, called him the ice prince. They once made a bet on him, whoever managed to make Baekhyun either burst into laughter or say more than three sentences in a row would get KRW150,000 and of course, no one won the bet at the end. </p><p>They didn’t hate him, not at all. Baekhyun was talented and successful, he was the favourite editor of the whole publishing company. He was professional, he offered help to others whenever it was needed, he shared the workload willingly when someone wasn’t able to meet the deadline. However, there existed an invisible barrier between him and the rest of them. Baekhyun was never rude to anybody, he was just distant, reserved and cold, like an iceberg.</p><p>“So, one thing that I wanna bring up in this meeting is, I will start recruiting someone to join the design team, ideally a photographer with graphic design background, who will be able to help Donghae since he will be reducing his working hours temporarily for the rest of the year.” The editor in chief, Leeteuk, announced. “If you have any referral, please let me know in private.” </p><p>Baekhyun remained expressionless. Photographer with graphic design background. This description led him to a certain person, one gifted photographer, who used to take pictures of him whenever they travelled. </p><p>When they were young. When they were close. When they were inseparable. It had been years, but Baekhyun’s heart still ached when he thought of him.</p><p>The rest of the meeting was uneventful and it ended 30 minutes later. Wendy suggested to have a team lunch together and looked at Baekhyun expectantly, waiting for his response. </p><p>“I’m gonna have lunch with Chanyeol today.” Baekhyun shrugged his shoulder and said.</p><p>“Okay, I just <em>knew</em> it, you always have excuses. Anyway, enjoy the lunch with your admirer.” Wendy rolled her eyes and left the meeting room with the rest of the team.</p><p>✧<br/>
“Hey, Baek, here!!!” Chanyeol waved his hands in an exaggerated way, obviously in a hyper mood. Baekhyun walked towards him and took the seat opposite to his friend. “Using me as excuse to escape from your team lunch again, huh?” Chanyeol smirked.</p><p>“Why bother to ask if you already know the answer.” Baekhyun replied without looking at Chanyeol, he had his attention on the menu.</p><p>“You should be glad that I, the invincible Park-nice-friendly-handsome-happy-virus-Chanyeol, can stand your mean and flat tone without any complaints. People who are not familiar with you will think you are an asshole.” </p><p>“Whatever helps them sleep at night, I don’t care, <em>nice virus</em>. Avocado salmon salad, ask them not to put in red onion nor cucumber. Iced lemon tea, no syrup.” Baekhyun put the menu on the table and finally looked at Chanyeol.</p><p>“What the... Baek, do you think you are the boss?” Chanyeol rolled his eyes then met Baekhyun’s sharp gaze, he sighed and waved his hand defeatedly, “I’d like to order please.”</p><p><em>You should be glad that I like you, or maybe more than that.</em> Chanyeol thought.</p><p>“At least don’t call me nice virus please.” They had a random talk about work and other stuffs. Chanyeol was working at the Marketing department and he got a mean boss who was approaching her fifties, he spent half of the time ranting about her whenever they had lunch together.</p><p>To others’ surprise, the two got along quite well. Baekhyun felt at ease with an easy-going person like Chanyeol, he was willing to talk more when they were together, by talking more it meant the conversation could continue properly and he would respond with more than one single sentence. Chanyeol was another one of the few exceptions who was still willing to make an effort to get close with Baekhyun.</p><p>“Oh by the way Baek, I got tickets for the photography exhibition this weekend. The exhibition hall is next to a popular Italian restaurant, perhaps we can dine together after...” Chanyeol suggested eagerly but was interrupted by Baekhyun before he could finish.</p><p>“No, Chanyeol, I told you many times, I’m not gonna go on a date with you.” Baekhyun sighed. “We are friends, that’s it.” </p><p>“You’re really straight-forward, too straight-forward sometimes. However, since I really like you, I’ll give you the ticket so you can enjoy the exhibition without me.” Chanyeol took the ticket out from his pocket and gave it to Baekhyun, “Baek, if... if one day you no longer have that <em>somebody</em> inside your heart, you know my offer is always open, just saying.” Chanyeol said half-jokingly with his signature wide smile, although both of them knew he was serious.</p><p>“I don’t have <em>anybody</em> inside my heart. Don’t pretend you know me well.”</p><p>“I know you well enough to judge when are you lying, though.” </p><p>Baekhyun glared at Chanyeol, <em>is he right then? Is it that trivial?</em></p><p>“Whatever, I gotta go, meeting at 1:30pm.” Baekhyun asked for the bill and paid with his credit card.</p><p>“Thanks Baek, my treat next time.” Both of them left the restaurant and headed back to the office. </p><p>✧<br/>
Sehun was talking with his friend, Bohyun, who was holding a photography exhibition. Sehun met Bohyun when they participated in the same competition a couple of years ago. Bohyun won the competition while Sehun got the 1st runner-up. They appreciated each other and became close pretty fast. It was the first time Bohyun held an exhibition with a few friends in Seoul. Sehun felt excited for his friend so he came and joined the opening ceremony.</p><p>“You should join us next time, Sehun. More people need to know the existence of such a hidden gem.” Bohyun took a sip of his red wine and patted Sehun’s shoulder.</p><p>“If the theme fits, of course I’m more than willing to join. This exhibition’s theme is awesome, but it’s not something I usually do.” Sehun chuckled. The exhibition was about <em>elapse of time</em>. Bohyun and his friends took a photo of a specific object everyday and recorded the change over two years’ time frame. Photos of growing and wilting plants, puppy and cat growing up, changing scenery from balcony etc were displayed in the exhibition hall. For Bohyun himself, he took photos of himself reading for two years straight. </p><p>“You know you look extremely charming when you are holding a book, nobody will really care if you are reading it or not.” Sehun joked. “By the way, I don’t know you are a fan of Orwell.” </p><p>“I have been a devoted Orwell reader since I was a teenager, he is a legend, you like him too?” Bohyun asked.</p><p>“No, not me.” Sehun thought about the Orwell collection in his dormitory years ago and the little puppy who always threatened him to clean the dorm, <em>do you work properly Sehunie, big brother is watching you!!!</em></p><p>“Who is that person then?” Bohyun followed up and asked. Sehun smiled and remained silence, Bohyun took this as an answer. He looked down at the exhibition hall from the balcony of the first floor, satisfied to see many people taking their spare time during weekend to attend the exhibition and appreciate their work. He spotted a guy standing in front of his pictures alone, staring at them curiously. <em>He is cute</em>, Bohyun thought, <em>maybe I should go and talk to him.</em></p><p>“I’ll leave you here for a while, I wanna go downstairs and talk to some visitors.” Sehun nodded, continued drinking his wine. </p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun stared at the set of pictures of the photographer, taken in a span of two years. The photographer recorded his reading journey on a daily basis, he read while lying on his couch, playing with his cat, sitting on his balcony. These photos portrayed perfectly the life of a young man living alone. They were aesthetic with precise angle and lighting. <em>This photographer is talented,</em> Baekhyun concluded. </p><p>“Hey.” Baekhyun turned his head and realised that the face that appeared in the photos was standing right next to him, greeting him with a gentle smile.</p><p>“... Hi.” That was all Baekhyun managed to mutter. He wasn’t fond of talking to strangers, not anymore.</p><p>“My name is Bohyun. Do you like the photos and the concept?” He asked.</p><p>“Yes, I like the theme of the exhibition,” Baekhyun paused for a few seconds before adding, “great choice of books too.”</p><p>“Oh, so you love reading too? Which of these do you like?” </p><p>“<em>Who controls the past controls the future.</em>” Baekhyun responded. </p><p>“He is one of my all-time favourite, I know his quotes by heart, but why this one specifically?” Bohyun was delighted to hear Baekhyun’s answer.</p><p>“Nothing, just wondering how a person’s past can shape and largely impact his or her future, even in a general and non-political context.” </p><p>“But the second part of the quote said <em>who controls the present controls the past</em>, I guess it works in general context too?” </p><p>“Maybe.” Baekhyun thought he had had enough conversation with Bohyun. He appreciated his work, but it didn’t mean he was comfortable in having a 30-minute conversation with him, even it was just about photography and books. He made up an excuse and went outside the exhibition hall for some fresh air. </p><p>✧<br/>
Sehun was talking to one of Bohyun’s friend, who also participated in this exhibition. He pointed down to the exhibition area and told Sehun his pictures were displayed right next to Bohyun’s. Sehun looked down to the hall and for a few seconds he thought he was dreaming.</p><p>He saw the same petite figure, the same droopy eyes, the same little puppy. Baekhyun was standing there, talking to Bohyun. From that moment onwards, Sehun wasn’t paying attention to what Bohyun’s friend was talking about, he only had his full attention on Baekhyun.</p><p>Baekhyun didn’t age after all these years. He was as good looking as before, but at the same time he looked so different. He gave a completely different vibe as he used to give, he looked more mature and seemed rather listless. As if there was a layer of mist blurring his sparkling eyes, Sehun could no longer see his pretty eyes that used to shine like the stars. Sadly, Sehun knew very well what, or who, was the cause.</p><p>It was all his fault.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>공기마저 적막한 밤에<br/>
On a night where even the air is silent<br/>
지쳐 버린 맘이 잠들지 못해<br/>
My exhausted heart can’t fall asleep<br/>
나 홀로 헤매던 터널의 끝에<br/>
At the end of the tunnel I wandered alone<br/>
따스히 닿아오던 숨 너의 숨<br/>
A warm breath reached me, your breath</em></p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Day After Day 01.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
<em>빛바랜 너의 기억이 흩날리고<br/>
The faded memories of you scatter<br/>
이따금씩 생각에 잠겨 난<br/>
Sometimes I get lost in thought<br/>
거울에 비친 나와 눈을 맞추고<br/>
I meet eyes with my reflection in the mirror<br/>
못다 한 얘기 속에 머물러<br/>
And linger in the words I couldn’t say to you</em></p><p>✧<br/>
“Hey, it’s time to get up! You have a 9:30am class today!” Sehun chuckled when he saw his cute roommate covering his face with his blanket, not willing to get up.</p><p>“Noooooo, Sehunie... 10 more minutes!!! It’s so cold today I don’t wanna leave my bed.” Baekhyun pulled the blanket down a bit so that his droopy eyes were showing, he was obviously still in half-asleep state.</p><p>“You’ll be late, you know your professor isn’t fond of people arriving late, and you have already annoyed him twice in this semester.” Sehun sighed, wondering why he acted like a hyung when they were both sophomores. </p><p>“Come on, get up. Breakfast is ready.” Sehun petted Baekhyun’s messy hair and left their room. </p><p>Baekhyun got up unwillingly, rubbing his eyes. He didn’t want to admit, but Sehun was right, professor Sanchez would probably give him a hard time if he was late again. He joined Sehun at the pantry after getting himself ready for class. His eyes were sparkling when he saw the pancake Sehun made for him.</p><p>“Sehunie!!! I love you so much, you are the best!” Baekhyun blew Sehun a kiss, he sat down and couldn’t wait to taste his delicious breakfast.</p><p>“I will only make you breakfast if you wake up on time.” Sehun glared at Baekhyun, trying to threaten him. He failed to do so, of course.</p><p>“Come on Sehunie, I was working on my literature assignment last night and I was completely worn out. You can’t blame me. Blame the professor! Ummmm this is so good!” Baekhyun was very satisfied with the pancake with maple syrup. He knew Sehun was just kidding, he was confident that Sehun would still make him breakfast tomorrow, the day after, the week after, the month after, and so on.</p><p>Sehun took a sip of his expresso, amused by how aggressive Baekhyun was when devouring the pancake.</p><p>“Is this new? It smells different from the one you used to make.” The scent of expresso caught Baekhyun’s attention.</p><p>“Yes, the coffee beans are from Guatemala, I like its refined aroma. Try.” He passed Baekhyun the expresso cup, Baekhyun smelt the coffee thoroughly before taking a sip.</p><p>“Arghhh, it is so bitter. I don’t understand why people drink this, it is such a torture.” Baekhyun’s eyebrows frowned, he immediately gulped down a few mouthfuls of strawberry milk to dilute the bitterness. </p><p>“It is an enjoyment, not torture. If you don’t know how to appreciate it, just stick with your childish strawberry milk.” </p><p>“Strawberry milk is the <em>real</em> enjoyment, you’re completely tasteless.” Baekhyun pouted. </p><p>“Say one more word about my taste, you’re never gonna see strawberry milk in the fridge again.” Sehun glared at Baekhyun, who was still pouting.</p><p>“Nooooooo, Sehunie, you can’t do that to me!!!” Baekhyun looked at Sehun with his droopy eyes and whined in a cute way, “I know you won’t treat me like that, right?” He grabbed Sehun’s arm and leaned on his shoulder.</p><p>“Alright, fine. It’s 9:20am already, we should go.” Sehun could never resist Baekhyun’s <em>aegyo</em>. Knowing he had won over Sehun again, Baekhyun headed to his boring 9:30am class with a victorious smirk.</p><p>He entered the classroom just in time. It was a class with 15 students only, he managed to secure a seat on the third row. Professor Sanchez was already there, he put on his glasses and started the lesson right when the clock hit 9:30am.</p><p>
  <em>“Hola todos, hoy vamos a hablar de las diferencias entre los tiempos pasados... (trans: Hi everyone, today we are going to talk about the differences between the past tenses...)”</em>
</p><p>✧<br/>
It was a typical day in November, fine weather with soft Autumn breeze, blazing sun shone tenderly onto the students’ face. The leaves turned colours and fell off gracefully, painting the campus with shades of amber, gamboge and russet.</p><p>This day was too fine to be wasted indoor, it would be a perfect afternoon to be spent with the nature. Unfortunately, most of the students were still yawning in the lecture hall, resting their chins on their hands, counting down to their weekend impatiently. Baekhyun was one of them, he yawned for the 20th time during his film &amp; philosophy class. He almost jumped when the professor finally dismissed the class, he packed everything within a minute and rushed towards the university entrance. Sehun was already standing there, waiting for him.</p><p>“Yeahhh, finally it’s weekend! Today’s classes are disastrous.” Baekhyun wrapped his hands around Sehun’s waist and complained.</p><p>“No one asked you to register Spanish, modern literature plus film &amp; philosophy in the same semester, when all of them have classes on Friday. You can only blame yourself for that.” Sehun teased Baekhyun, indeed, who would do so to ruin all Fridays in the semester?</p><p>“Ahhh I thought they are gonna be interesting. Talking in Spanish at 9:30am drove me crazy. That Sebastian guy, the exchange student from Portugal, is so so <em>so</em> annoying. His family taught him Spanish since he was a child. I don’t understand why he registered Spanish course here. I guess he just wanna insult every single one of us. <em>Oye, es muy fácil, ¿cómo es que no lo entiendes? (trans: Hey, that’s very easy. How come you don’t understand it?)</em> Oye his a*s.” Baekhyun’s eyebrows frowned when he complained about his classmate, his angry face made Sehun laugh.</p><p>“Baekkie, this is a language course, <em>of course you need to speak</em> in Spanish during the class. About that annoying guy, just ignore him, or you can smile at him while cursing him in Korean, since he won’t understand a thing.” </p><p>“Ya, anyway. <em>No pasa nada (trans: It doesn’t matter).</em> Let’s go, they’ve arrived already!” </p><p>The sun already set and it was becoming dark outside. The chilly November wind at night made Baekhyun shiver, he tightened his scarf and hid his hands inside the pocket. They quickened their pace and arrived the restaurant 10 minutes later. Baekhyun spotted Jongdae, his close friend at same age who studied pharmacy in the same university, waving at them with his signature cheerful face. He waved back, grabbed Sehun’s wrist and walked towards his friends.</p><p>“Daeee, I miss you!! Minseok hyung, Junmyeon hyung, miss you guys too.” Baekhyun sat opposite to Jongdae and Sehun took the seat next to him. Next to Jongdae were Minseok and Junmyeon, who were also their friends. Minseok and Junmyeon were two years older than the rest of them, they were final year students majoring in business administration.</p><p>“Baek, we miss you too! Hi, Sehun! We’ve already ordered.” Jongdae passed the menu to the two of them, Sehun just nodded, murmured a “hi” in response and took the menu from him.</p><p>The group started catching up on each other’s busy university life. Minseok and Junmyeon were occupied with final year projects and graduate job applications. Junmyeon planned to rent an apartment and move in with his girlfriend upon graduation. Minseok, on the other hand, was considering a few overseas job opportunities. Jongdae was spending majority of his time in the laboratory and the tutorial centre where he gave chemistry tutorial class during weekends. It was getting harder and harder for them to gather, but they still managed to meet once a month to enjoy good food and each other’s company.</p><p>“So, I heard you rejected another girl, the one studying hotel management? She actually looks cute!” Minseok asked Baekhyun curiously.</p><p>“Oh come on, I’m not interested in her at all. She is pretentious and she followed me everywhere. No, I can’t stand girls like that.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes when he recalled those tragic moments when he had to literally run away from the girl who was following him all the time.</p><p>“I’m so done with you, Baek. This is like the 10th person you rejected in these one and a half year? You didn’t like the tall <em>noona</em> with long black hair, you didn’t like the sporty girl from dance team, you didn’t like the guy who brought a guitar and sang <em>‘cause all of me loves all of you’</em> in front of you after your class neither... are you that picky?” Jongdae wondered if Baekhyun was picky about choosing his lover, or he was not interested to get involved in a relationship at all.</p><p>“I’m just, not interested in any of them!!” Baekhyun responded, slightly irritated, “it’s not my fault that people have a crush on me. I never ask them to.” He pouted.</p><p>“Hey, calm down Baek. Food is here.” Sehun finally joined the conversation. He chuckled when he saw Baekhyun’s annoyed expression, which actually looked adorable in his eyes. He knew Baekhyun, despite being outgoing and friendly, didn’t really enjoy all the attention he was getting, especially from those who had a single-sided crush on him.</p><p>Still pouting, Baekhyun looked at the salad he ordered. “Arghhhh, why do they put cucumber in it?” </p><p>“Baek, it’s quite common to have cucumber in salad... you should have asked.” Junmyeon said.</p><p>Sehun observed Baekhyun’s expression turning more displeased, he shook his head slightly before putting the food his ordered in front of Baekhyun. “Take my teriyaki chicken then, and give me your salad.” </p><p>“Can I?” Baekhyun looked at Sehun and blinked his eyes. Sehun nodded and took the salad away from Baekhyun’s tray. “Sehunie, you are the best. You don’t lecture me, unlike some annoying hyung.” Baekhyun glared at Junmyeon quickly and said half-jokingly before taking a bite of the chicken.</p><p>“Sehun, how are you doing lately? You haven’t talked much since you’re here.” Junmyeon ignored Baekhyun’s accusation and changed the topic.</p><p>“Um, fine. Just working on my portfolio and an essay.” As usual, Sehun only gave the briefest response, which they sort of expected. </p><p>“Sehunie’s photos are really awesome. He took a set of pictures of sunset, they are simply stunning. I never know there is such a beautiful place for sunset, I wish I was there as well. I will definitely give him a straight A++ if I was the professor!” Baekhyun supplemented and praised Sehun excitedly, he was genuinely proud of his friend’s talent. </p><p>They continued eating and chitchatting with each other. Laughters were heard here and there. </p><p>“Umm... Guys, I suddenly remember I’ve got something to do, I’ll be right back.” Sehun grabbed his wallet and stood up from his seat.</p><p>“Where are you going?” Baekhyun questioned confusedly.</p><p>“To buy your mid-night snacks before supermarket closes. I don’t want you to yell at midnight because you are craving for strawberries but our fridge is empty.” Baekhyun and his friends were all looking at Sehun until he vanished from their sight. When Sehun was gone, three of them all turned their gaze to Baekhyun.</p><p>“Just say it.” Judging from their mischievous expression, Baekhyun knew his friends were not going to say nice things.</p><p>“Is there a thing between the two of you?” Jongdae asked.</p><p>“Oh, no! Dae, we are best friends since high school, and roommates, that’s it.”</p><p>“Are you sure? Baek, Sehun is a living iceberg, poker face 90% of the time, the remaining 10% is when he is with you. He looks completely different when you are around. Didn’t you realise?” Being the most observant person among the group, Minseok just couldn’t accept Baekhyun’s “best friends since high school” explanation. </p><p>“You know, I don’t even spoil my girlfriend the way Sehun spoils you...” Junmyeon seconded.</p><p>“And you as well, your eyes almost turn into heart shape when you are talking about him. You are such a meanie with us, but everything relating to Sehun that comes from your mouth is a compliment.” Jongdae, being the one who knew Baekhyun the best, was also in agreement with what the two hyungs said. “You two could’t be just friends.”</p><p>“Whatever. Sehun’s coming back, don’t mention this in front of him!” Baekhyun widened his eyes and threatened them with a silencing gesture. </p><p>“Sehunie!” Baekhyun looked at the box of fresh strawberries Sehun got him and grinned. “You know you don’t have to do this.”</p><p>“I just don’t want an angry puppy to jump onto my bed and disturb my peaceful sleep.” Sehun stroked Baekhyun’s head quickly, this little gesture made Baekhyun’s heart skip a beat. </p><p><em>No, Byun Baekhyun, you can’t be affected by these three brats’ nonsense.</em> Baekhyun took a deep breath, tried not to pay any attention to his abnormal heartbeats.</p><p>Since it was getting late and they were all in need of some good rest after the long week, they concluded the night after deciding on the date and place for their next meet up. </p><p>✧<br/>
Just finished drying his hair, Baekhyun entered their room while yawning nonstop. Sehun was already lying comfortably on his bed, resting with his eyes closed. Instead of heading to his bed, Baekhyun walked towards Sehun and jumped onto his bed.</p><p>“Sehunie, I wanna sleep with you tonight.” Without waiting for Sehun’s response, Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Sehun’s waist.</p><p>“You didn’t even give me a chance to reject your request, huh?” Sehun pretended to be irritated, at the same time putting his arms on Baekhyun to pull him closer.</p><p>“I know you won’t. It’s so cold, I can’t sleep alone.” Baekhyun rested his head on Sehun’s chest. <em>Thump, thump, thump.</em> Baekhyun heard the fast beating of his heart.</p><p><em>You two could’t be just friends.</em> Jongdae’s voice lingered around Baekhyun’s mind. He couldn’t tell whether Jongdae was right, whether he in fact loved his <em>best friend since high school</em>, but he was certain about one thing - he loved the intimacy and skinship between them.</p><p>Baekhyun closed his eyes, relaxed his body, drifted into his sweet dream while being surrounded by the soft blanket and the familiar warmth radiating from Sehun’s body. </p><p>
  <em>Good night, Sehunie.</em>
</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>눈을 감아 보는 걸<br/>
I close my eyes<br/>
담담한 눈빛 속 그 안에 가득 찬<br/>
Inside my composed gaze<br/>
니 얼굴이 떠올라<br/>
I’m filled with thoughts of your face<br/>
긴 한숨으로 채워만 가<br/>
Long sighs fill the air</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Now we are going back to university time! Just saying, Baekhyun is not gonna end up with Sebastian that’s just a joke I made on twitter only hahaha. I hope my Spanish is fine tho lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. Butterfly Effect 02.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
It was said that good office design had positive influence on employee’s engagement and productivity. An open and spacious office using appropriate colour tone could create a brighter and more relaxing workplace, thus enhancing efficiency and boosting creativity. Baekhyun’s office was recently renovated, the management decided to go for a more modern design. The old working desks were removed and replaced with new adjustable desks, part of the work area was converted into an open area with sofas for small group discussion, a few phone booth like silent boxes were built mainly for conference calls. The entire office was in a wooden colour tone, while more colourful furniture could be found in the pantry. </p><p>The change was welcomed by most of the employees, they were thrilled to have their first team meeting in the open area. Instead of sitting inside a meeting room, they scattered around freely. Some of the team members sat on the sofa, placing the laptops on their thighs, some sat on the stools next to the bar table, some just stood relaxedly with their coffee. </p><p>“I hope all of you like the changes we recently made to our office. We have made huge effort to ensure we provide the best working environment to you all. I personally appreciate this kind of setting, and I hope you’d like it too.” Leeteuk started the meeting with his usual industry update. They had brief discussion on a few articles that they were going to publish. The atmosphere was indeed more casual than before, they had more interactions and laughters were often heard. </p><p>Baekhyun, with his expresso on hand, just leaned towards the wall at the corner and listened quietly. There seemed to be an invisible wall between him and the rest of them. Mark, often the mood maker of the group, made a silly comment and everyone burst into laughter, except the one who was standing at the corner. Baekhyun forgot since when he started to find lifting the corner of his mouth burdensome. Things would hardly change, in a positive way, if there was one more person smiling in the world, at the same time, people would barely notice if there was one less person smiling. It didn’t matter to anyone including himself, so Baekhyun stopped bothering about it.</p><p>“The last and most important topic of the day is, I’m delighted to announce we’ve found the perfect candidate for our vacancy in the design team. Please join me in welcoming our new teammate,” Leeteuk started applauding, followed by the rest of the team, “<em>Sehun.</em>”</p><p>Baekhyun almost dropped his expresso cup the moment he heard these two syllables. <em>Se-hun.</em> It was like hearing the violent screams of thunder at a peaceful night, unexpected, impetuous and fierce. All the bitter sweet memories flashed back within seconds, making him dizzy. His breath quickened when he saw that familiar tall figure walking towards the crowd, in a confident way which Baekhyun had never seen before.</p><p>“Hi everyone, I’m Oh Sehun. It’s indeed my honour to be invited to join the team. My friend, who is also a photographer, recommended and introduced me to Leeteuk when I visited his exhibition.” Sehun, with a gentle smile on his face, bowed to the team and introduced himself briefly. “I worked mostly on projects on a freelance basis before. I spent the last couple of years travelling, meeting new people and getting to know more about the world.”</p><p>His confidence and aura had everyone’s attention. He wore a white shirt from a luxury brand with first two buttons unfastened and sleeves rolled up. The dark blue jeans made his look less formal, they fitted him perfectly while displaying his long legs. The ladies in the room were all fixing their gaze at this charming guy, drooling over his top-tier face and body.</p><p>“I’m excited for this opportunity and I look forward to working with all of you.” He made sure he had eye contact with every member of the team. The moment his eyes met with Baekhyun’s, Baekhyun turned his face away, avoiding him. </p><p>Baekhyun was still processing the fact that Sehun appeared right in front of him after all these years. His hand that was holding the expresso cup was shaky, it was getting harder and harder to breathe. It had been years since he had heard Sehun’s voice. The shy and quiet Sehun in his memory suddenly transformed into a mature man who could carry on conversations naturally. Panting heavily, Baekhyun felt irritated by every word slipping from Sehun’s mouth, by his compelling aura, by his mere existence.</p><p>“Since we still have some time left, do you guys have questions for Sehun?” Leeteuk asked.</p><p>“Hey Sehun, first of all, welcome to our team! I’m Mark, just curious, what projects have you worked on before and which one is your favourite so far?”</p><p>“Hi Mark, nice to meet you. <em>Ummm</em> you are welcoming me with such a difficult question. I would say my favourite is a project themed <em>‘the beauty of women’</em>. It was a collaboration with two other photographers in celebration of International Women Day. We photographed women of different ages, nationalities, races etc. Despite the diversity in backgrounds, you can always find sparks in their eyes, elegance in their movements, wisdom in their words... and <em>Beauty</em> is a collective term for all these elements. <em>Women are attractive.</em>” Sehun earned some cheers from the ladies in the team.</p><p>“Of course, <em>men are attractive, too.</em>” He added after a few seconds, turning his face towards Baekhyun’s direction. He stared at Baekhyun for a short while, smiling.</p><p>“So again, Sehun, welcome to our team. I’m sure you will enjoy working here. Now, perhaps Baekhyun can show you around?” Leeteuk knew Baekhyun wouldn’t be fond of this idea, nonetheless he delegated it to him as this task was used to be done by the most senior team member.</p><p>“No, I have something scheduled.” Baekhyun put his expresso cup into the dishwasher, then went straight to the silent box with his laptop.</p><p>“Well, don’t mind him, Baekhyun has a... unique character. Wendy, maybe you can show Sehun around then?”</p><p>“Yes, sure. Welcome, Sehun! I’m Wendy, assistant editor. Mark, Joy, Jaehyun and I are in the editor team, together with... Baekhyun oppa, he is the senior editor. Just to warn you in advance, you probably won’t want to mess with him.”</p><p>“Why?” Sehun asked curiously, as if he didn’t know Baekhyun at all.</p><p>“Umm, Baekhyun oppa isn’t a bad person, he is just... distant and cold. He keeps conversation to an absolute minimum and if he opens his mouth it’s solely about work. Forget about getting close with him, he never joins our team lunch, not to say happy-hour or karaoke at Friday nights. You probably need to buy lottery if you see him showing emotions on his face, he is tense and expressionless, he doesn’t laugh at Mark’s jokes which is unbelievable!” The other girl, Joy, nodded her head, agreeing to what Wendy said about Baekhyun.</p><p><em>Distant and cold, tense and expressionless,</em> Sehun could never ever relate these descriptions to the Baekhyun in his memory, the Baekhyun he used to know.</p><p>“Now let’s show you our office then we will go to the other teams.” Wendy led Sehun to their working area and showed him where each of them sat. Sehun had his attention on Baekhyun’s desk. It was neat, way too neat in Baekhyun’s standard. He was always the one cleaning their dormitory up, Baekhyun never lifted a finger. It was a surprise that Baekhyun placed his stationary tidily on his wooden stationary stand, all notes were put in well-labelled folders, even his schedule board was written in an organised manner.</p><p>Apart from his appearance, Sehun could hardly link this Baekhyun with the one in his mind. He looked at the silent box at the far end of the office, Baekhyun was sitting there, concentrated on his work. </p><p>Sehun knew he had one job to do, <em>to find the Baekhyun he used to know.</em> </p><p>✧<br/>
It had been a week since Sehun joined the team. He was making satisfactory progress with integrating himself into the team, he was already included as one of Wendy’s lunch buddies and Mark’s drinking squad. Everyone reacted positively with the addition of a new team member, everyone, except Baekhyun. Baekhyun avoided contact with Sehun by all means, he didn’t walk pass Sehun’s work station, he arrived earlier and stayed later, he didn’t go to the pantry when the team was having coffee break, he just pretended Sehun didn’t exist. When Sehun greeted him in the morning, he would just return a glare and an expression that literally said <em>“go away”</em>.</p><p>7:45 in the morning, Baekhyun was standing next to the coffee machine, waiting for his morning expresso. He closed his eyes and sighed. Things didn’t seem right, he had been lying on bed for hours struggling to fall asleep at night, he spent double time on routine tasks that used to be a piece of cake, he lost his usual patience when coaching his teammates. He felt completely messed up. </p><p>It had been years, he shouldn’t care, he shouldn’t bother about it. Yet, the feelings were still there, rage, disappointment, heartbreak. Sehun’s re-appearance reminded Baekhyun that he hadn’t forgotten. He should, but he just couldn’t.</p><p>“<em>Baekkie</em>, your coffee is done.” Baekhyun knew who was talking before opening his eyes, there was only one person calling him like that, and it had been a long time since he had been called that way.</p><p>“If you dare to call me like this again, I’ll kick you real hard.” Baekhyun glared at Sehun, obviously irked.</p><p>“I thought you don’t like expresso?” Changing topic, Sehun looked at Baekhyun’s coffee, “Guatemala beans, nice choice.”</p><p>“That’s none of your business.” Baekhyun wanted to leave the pantry but Sehun blocked his way.</p><p>“You know, you’re like a completely different person now, but there’s still one thing that hasn’t changed at all.” Sehun stepped closer to Baekhyun, “You look like an angry puppy when you are mad, but you are still harmless.” He chuckled.</p><p>“Shut up.” Baekhyun pushed Sehun away and walked towards his work station.</p><p>“But I have to talk to you about the shooting and interview next week.” </p><p>Baekhyun stopped and turned around. “I’m not gonna go to a <em>fucking</em> shooting with you.” </p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun slammed the door of Leeteuk’s office. “Change the schedule, I’m not gonna work with him.”</p><p>“Calm down, Baek. What’s the issue between the two of you?” Leeteuk knew something was wrong between the two of them, Baekhyun wasn’t a bad-tempered person, but this time he was completely off.</p><p>“I just don’t want to work with him. Anyone, but not him.” </p><p>“At least you have to justify yourself, Baekhyun. You are the pickiest editor here, it’s so difficult to satisfy your demanding requests on photos. Sehun is a talented young photographer, an elite recognised by the industry. Not gonna lie, I persuaded him to join mostly because of you.”</p><p>“Then you have made a huge mistake. There’s no way I can do this.” Baekhyun sounded firm. He couldn’t even talk to Sehun properly without getting mad, how could he work with him?</p><p>“Do you know why I said he will be your perfect hand? Remember I sent you five sets of photos and asked you to pick one from each set?” Baekhyun nodded, Leeteuk did send him some photos a few weeks ago, he thought Leeteuk was just seeking his opinion so he didn’t pay much attention to it.</p><p>“I mixed the photos of the few candidates I had and asked you to pick, and you know what, all the photos you picked were taken by Sehun. <em>All of them.</em> It is definitely not a coincidence. I don’t know what happened between the two of you, but you like his style, you gotta work with him.” </p><p><em>You like his style.</em> It reminded Baekhyun of how proud he was whenever Sehun showed him the photos he took in the past. Every picture was a masterpiece in his eyes, it told a story without the need to add any narration, the picture spoke for itself. He still kept the photo album gifted to him by Sehun in his apartment, locked inside his storage room. Those memories were harsh, yet he didn’t have the heart to discard them. </p><p><em>Of course I like his style. I said I would give him a straight A++ if I was the professor.</em> Baekhyun laughed at himself, the consistency of his art instinct betrayed him.</p><p>“It’s not that easy. Things are... complicated.” Baekhyun sighed frustratedly. He didn’t want to ruin his reputation, but remaining calm and objective seemed to be challenging.</p><p>“I trust you, Baekhyun, you are a professional. Don’t let your emotion surpass your rationality.” Leeteuk paused for a few seconds and decided to add, “he didn’t agree to the deal until I assured he is gonna work with you. I am not the reason why he is here, you are. <em>You are his prerequisite.</em>”</p><p>Baekhyun left Leeteuk’s room with one single thought in his mind. <em>Why? After all these years, why?</em></p><p>✧<br/>
“Now, tell me what happened.” Jongdae took a sip of his red wine. “I read your message thrice to make sure I didn’t get it wrong. <em>You needed to talk.</em> Must be something big, huh?” </p><p>“Sehun is back.” In his usual flat tone, Baekhyun muttered these few words in the calmest way he could manage. Yet, being friends for over a decade, Jongdae knew he was not calm at all. </p><p>Then Baekhyun continued the talk, how Sehun suddenly appeared in his office and became his colleague, how Sehun agreed to join their team according to Leeteuk, how Sehun was behaving completely different compared to the Sehun he used to know.</p><p>“Wait, you mean he now becomes an outgoing and talkative Prince Charming loved by all your co-workers, and he joins your company because he knows you work there?” Jongdae widened his eyes and asked in his loud voice, Baekhyun nodded and signalled him to lower his voice. “It has been years since you’ve last seen him, right?” </p><p>“Ya, on Junmyeon’s engagement party.” Baekhyun smiled bitterly, he would never forget that night.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>-Five years ago-</em></p><p>All the friends, including Baekhyun and Jongdae, gathered in a restaurant, taking turns to congratulate Junmyeon for his engagement. Lively atmosphere and energetic voices reminded them of their colourful university life, which they all missed after stepping into the cruel and stressful reality, i.e., adulthood. </p><p>Baekhyun was in a relaxed mood, he just had a few words with Junmyeon whom he hadn’t seen for quite a while. Feeling light-headed after a glass of champagne, he saw a vague yet familiar tall figure entering the room, followed by a shorter one, a face he had never seen before.</p><p>“Sehun! I thought you are not coming.” Junmyeon said and gave his friend a hug.</p><p><em>Sehun.</em> It was a name Baekhyun used to call everyday when he was still in school. Now, he could hardly recall when was the last time he had seen Sehun’s face. Graduation ceremony, probably. They didn’t even take a picture together back then.</p><p>Sehun still looked the same, effortlessly handsome. What caught Baekhyun’s attention, was the shorter guy walking besides Sehun, holding his hand.</p><p><em>Holding his hand.</em> Baekhyun looked at Sehun, still couldn’t believe his eyes. His hand started trembling when he heard Sehun introducing the guy to Junmyeon, “hyung, this is my boyfriend, Kyungsoo.” Kyungsoo was smiling timidly. Judging by first impression, he was the shy and quiet type. <em>Same as Sehun, and a complete opposite of me,</em> Baekhyun concluded.</p><p>Sehun walked further inside and his gaze met with Baekhyun’s from afar. Sehun was little bit startled, he didn’t expect to see Baekhyun here as Baekhyun didn’t keep contact with most of their friends after graduating. </p><p>Baekhyun’s mind was occupied by mixed emotions. His eyes lingered on the intertwining fingers of the couple, tears started to fall the moment he raised his head. Vision blurred and feeling dizzy, Baekhyun grabbed Jongdae’s arm, “Dae, I want to go.”</p><p>Shocked by Baekhyun’s crying face, Jongdae quickly informed Junmyeon and led Baekhyun out of the restaurant. “Luckily I didn’t drink today, let me drive you home. Rest a bit.” Baekhyun didn’t respond, he just continued sobbing.</p><p>“Dae, am I that awful?” Baekhyun asked in a fatigue tone. He used to be confident, but now everything had changed, his confidence was gone, vanished.</p><p>“No, you know you are not. Baek, you are amazing.”</p><p>“Then why did he lie?” Baekhyun was really hurt. He thought his heart was already broken once years ago, he didn’t expect it to be broken <em>again</em> now.</p><p>“He said he’s <em>not into guys</em>, but now it turns out, he’s just <em>not into me</em>. I don’t know which hurts me more.” </p><p>Baekhyun learnt one thing that night, <em>when a heart was broken twice, the pain doubled.</em></p><p>✧<br/>
“I know it is his fault, he shouldn’t lie in any circumstances, undoubtedly he is a bastard and he doesn’t deserve to be forgiven easily. Yet, it has been five years since your last encounter with him, it has been almost a decade since we were in school, and you are still having such strong reactions now that he is back. Baek, you are still emotionally attached to him, you have never truly let him go, have you?” Jongdae asked, his wine glass was almost empty.</p><p>The longest relationship Baekhyun had over these years didn’t last more than a couple of months, he just seemed uninterested in anyone. <em>Aromantic,</em> a word that Sehun used to describe himself, now became the best-fit description of Baekhyun. </p><p>Jongdae knew it very well, it was all because Baekhyun still had someone in his mind. He took Baekhyun’s silence as an affirmative answer to his question, which didn’t really come as a surprise. </p><p>“Baekhyun, you two need closure, for the sake of yourself. Perhaps now is the right time, think about it.”</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun and Sehun were heading towards an organic food restaurant. Since green eating was becoming more popular and people were becoming mindful about sustainability, a lot of new vegetarian and organic food restaurants recently opened. Baekhyun decided to write an article about this trend, taking the opportunity to promote the concept of green eating.</p><p>They arrived at a cosy restaurant, <em>Cafe Green Seoul</em>, and was welcomed by the owner, Yoona. The restaurant was quite spacious, with around 10 tables and a salad bar in the centre. Baekhyun looked around the restaurant, appreciating its design. The restaurant was decorated in comforting earth tone. A palette of harmonious colours was formed by the well-blended brick wall, white ceiling and wooden furniture. Plants in different shades of green added vividness and a touch of nature, the entire setting was pleasing to the eye.</p><p>Sehun took his camera out, thinking about how to take the best pictures for the article when he scanned though every corner of the restaurant. He stole a quick glance at Baekhyun, who was reading his notes attentively. Baekhyun had been ignoring him since they met up in the office, the only conversation they had was a “good morning” and “hi” which was, strictly speaking, not a conversation. </p><p><em>Oh Sehun, be patient.</em> Sehun encouraged himself in his mind and decided to focus back on work. Noticing Yoona was coming towards them with some snacks and drinks, Sehun returned to the table and took a seat next to Baekhyun. </p><p>“Here are some of our signature snacks and drinks, please help yourselves. As you might be aware, one of our selling point is the quality of ingredients, we only prepare our dishes using organic products so the taste is natural and fresh.” Yoona prepared mushroom burger, grilled chicken caesar wrap and a mixed salad with pumpkin for them. The food was arranged neatly on the wooden plate, the nice appearance itself already earned decent points. </p><p>“Please also try our smoothies, these are mixed berry smoothie and green smoothie.” Without saying anything, Sehun took the mixed berry smoothie and put it in front of Baekhyun, he then took a sip of the green smoothie.</p><p>“It’s nice, the apple and cucumber are refreshing.” Sehun smiled and complimented. On the other hand, Baekhyun was drinking his mixed berry smoothie in silence, thoughts occupying his mind. <em>So Sehun remembers I don’t like cucumber, that’s why he took the green smoothie... Wait, why should I care?</em> </p><p>Yoona explained why she chose to open an organic food restaurant and devote herself in promoting green and sustainability eating. In her opinion, there were many things in life that she truly cared about, she regarded environmental protection as one of the topic she would like to spend time and effort on. She would like to encourage young people to leverage the things they like to explore business opportunities.</p><p>The interview ran smooth and was completed within an hour, the plates on the table were all empty by the time it ended. Yoona started tidying up the table while Baekhyun was finalising his interview summary. He was looking at the surrounding once again. <em>It would be good if we take a close-up of the salad bar with the colourful ingredients. A photo of the corner with the peace lilies and white moth orchids would also be nice.</em> Baekhyun thought.</p><p>Sehun signalled Baekhyun to look at his laptop, he just finished transferring the photos to the computer. Baekhyun scrolled through the photos, he couldn’t deny that Sehun was really doing an amazing job. He paused when he saw a few close-ups of the nicely-arranged salad bar, displaying the colour contrast perfectly. He kept scrolling and paused again. <em>That’s not possible.</em></p><p>There were a few photos of exactly what had been in Baekhyun’s mind a couple of minutes ago - that corner with plants. Baekhyun remained expressionless and continued checking the photos. The followings were mainly photos of him and Yoona taken during the interview. <em>Why did he take so many photos of me? Was I... smiling?</em></p><p>Baekhyun forgot when was the last time he saw the image of himself smiling. It was just a quick moment when Yoona said something funny, but Sehun managed to capture it.</p><p>“That’s my favourite, you look really good when you are smiling.” Sehun commented when he realised Baekhyun was staring at that photo.</p><p>“Shut up. Don’t take unnecessary photos, just do your job.” Baekhyun turned off the laptop and replied coldly.</p><p>“A photographer’s job is to capture breathtaking moments, and I think that suits the agenda pretty well.” Sehun smiled and put his laptop inside his backpack.</p><p><em>You two need closure, for the sake of yourself.</em> Jongdae’s voice lingered in Baekhyun’s mind on his way back to office. He closed his eyes, unsure what this <em>closure</em> meant.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>니가 가진 색이 날 물들인 느낌<br/>
It feels like I’ve been dyed in your colors<br/>
너와 함께할수록 강해져 모든 것이<br/>
The longer I’m with you the stronger I become in every way<br/>
외롭던 시간을 지나 새롭게 시작되는 꿈<br/>
A renewed dream after the time I spent lonely<br/>
너란 꿈<br/>
A dream of you</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>This is quite a long chapter! One incident was revealed, so no more major surprises and guessing hahaa (I hope you will still continue reading though :P) I’m sorry Kyungsoo you didn’t have any lines in this ff lol Have a nice week and eat green!!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Day After Day 02.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
<em>(오늘도) 밤새 비가 내려와 빗소리로 채워둔<br/>
(Today too) It rained all night, filled with the sound of the raindrops<br/>
(오늘도) 나 차마 비워내지 못한 채로 열어둔<br/>
(Today too) Left open because I couldn’t bear to erase them<br/>
(오늘도) 작은 흔적마저 거대할 만큼<br/>
(Today too) Even the small marks become big<br/>
날 덮친 그리움에 멈추어둔<br/>
I’m stuck in the longing that pours over me</em></p><p>✧<br/>
Sophomore year passed faster than ever. Baekhyun spent a week in Hokkaido with Jongdae and Minseok during Christmas holiday. They had intensive skiing training for five days. Jongdae and Minseok had lots of fun and they mastered the techniques pretty well, meanwhile Baekhyun, after his butt <em>kissing</em> the snow ground violently countless times each day, swore he was not going to ski again for the rest of his life. While everyone else was having a relaxing holiday and came back to campus refreshed and energised, Baekhyun ended up welcoming his new semester with sore body, cracked bones and an injured butt.</p><p>He made sure he would have a reasonable timetable this semester. He only registered five courses and managed to have a day-off on Wednesday. Taking this opportunity, he applied for a part-time job at a publishing company. Although he was mostly assigned with administrative tasks, he was grateful to have a chance to know more about the company’s operation and at least have some exposure in this industry.</p><p>Sehun, on the other hand, was having a tough time with a packed timetable. He spent a lot of time working on group projects and often returned to their dormitory past midnight. However, no matter how late he arrived, he would make sure Baekhyun’s breakfast would be ready when he woke up the next day. </p><p>School work occupied most of their time, leaving them no spare time to think about other things. In the blink of an eye, it was approaching the end of the second semester. Both of them secured a decent GPA and were excited about their upcoming trip to <em>Jeju Island</em>, a graduation trip specially arranged for Minseok and Junmyeon. Minseok graduated with flying colours and got a very attractive offer from a bank in the US, he would relocate later so this trip was also a farewell trip for him.</p><p>✧<br/>
The group arrived Jeju Island in late afternoon after a 70-minute flight from Seoul. The weather forecast was promising, they should be able to enjoy the gentle early Summer sun. They went directly to <em>Dongmun Traditional Market</em> to comfort their empty stomachs that were constantly protesting. It was still fairly early for dinner so the market was not packed. The five foodies wandered around the two lines of food stalls, couldn’t wait to try out everything. They decided to split into two groups  and gather at the dining area 20 minutes later after getting all the food they wanted.</p><p>Jongdae, Baekhyun and Sehun stood in front of a stall selling vast selection of seafood, the smell alone made their mouth water. They picked some fish, shrimps and fried calamari. The seafood was served together with chips in a cardboard box, they were free to add their preferred sauce and flavouring. They also bought some drinks before they went to the dining area to secure their seats.</p><p>Minseok and Junmyeon soon joined them with some traditional Korean dishes, <em>egg-wrapped kimbap</em> and <em>tteokbokki with fish cake</em>. Minseok was carrying a whole bag of Jeju tangerines, which was considered a must-try item. The group had a wonderful dinner, they literally ate until their stomach almost exploded.</p><p>When they were on their way to the bus station, Baekhyun stopped in front of a stall. “Look, it’s <em>hotteok (fried pancake with sweet filing)</em>! I wanna try, anyone else wants it too?”</p><p>“Are you sure you can still eat?” Sehun asked, unsure if it was a good idea.</p><p>“No worries, I can handle it.” Baekhyun ended up order a brown sugar hotteok for himself and a cinnamon one for Minseok. The rest were too full so they decided to skip this dessert.</p><p>✧<br/>
All of them agreed that it was a great start of their vacation, well, until Baekhyun arrived the guesthouse with a pale face. He started to feel unwell on the bus, his stomach started to ache.</p><p>“Baek, are you alright?” Noticing the sudden change in Baekhyun’s facial expression, Jongdae asked worriedly.</p><p>“Yah... just that my stomach...” Baekhyun responded weakly. In fact, he was not feeling good at all. <em>Maybe I should have listened to Sehunie...</em> It was too late to regret anyway.</p><p>“I told you your weak stomach can’t digest that much food. Look at you now.” Sehun came close to Baekhyun, lecturing him in a stern tone. He paused a bit and continued with a much softer voice. “Come on, go back to your room and rest. I’ll get you some hot water.”</p><p>“Guys I’m sorry, I can’t join you tonight... I promise I will get better tomorrow.” Baekhyun apologised before going back to his bedroom, he felt bad for ruining the mood and not being able to join the movie time and late night talk.</p><p>Sehun entered Baekhyun’s bedroom with a glass of hot water and saw Baekhyun resting on his bed, curling his body up.</p><p>“Baekkie, drink some hot water.” Baekhyun got up, drank the hot water and lay down on his bed again. “How are you feeling?”</p><p>“Not that bad, but I guess... I should have listened to you.” Baekhyun forced a smile.</p><p>“Just rest a bit, the pain will ease soon.” Sehun took Baekhyun’s hand and massaged it gently. He continued to stay besides Baekhyun until he fell asleep. </p><p>About an hour later, Sehun returned to the living room. The Kims just finished watching a movie and were relaxing on the couch, chatting while drinking beer.</p><p>“How’s Baekhyun?” Junmyeon asked, concerned about Baekhyun’s situation.</p><p>“He’s fine, he took medicine and just fell asleep.” Sehun took a can of beer and started drinking.</p><p>“That’s good. We just started our night talk, Junmyeon hyung is complaining about his girlfriend being too clingy.” Jongdae chuckled. </p><p>“Ah, I see.” Sehun responded and continued drinking his beer. He wasn’t sure if he should say something else, should he ask for details, or should he comment on Junmyeon’s girlfriend’s behaviour? When Baekhyun was with him, it was never difficult to keep the conversation going, Baekhyun always had something to say, when a topic died down, he would find something new to talk about. Sehun, on the other hand, was not gifted with this talent, he was never a talkative person. He wasn’t used to having in-depth conversations with them on his own. </p><p>A few seconds of silence filled the room. Feeling slightly awkward, Jongdae continued the conversation, “Have you found an apartment and decided when to move in with your girlfriend yet, Junmyeon hyung?”</p><p>“We have looked at a few, but haven’t made up our mind yet. It also depends on where are we gonna work so... hopefully we can decide in the coming month.” </p><p>They continued talking about future and plans. Minseok already confirmed he would be moving end of Summer, leaving him less than three months to spend with his family and friends. He looked forward to starting a new adventure in New York but at the same time he was little bit stressed about all the preparation to be done prior to that. </p><p>Sehun acted as a listener most of the time. He didn’t open his mouth more than five times, most of the time he just nodded and responded with “right”, “ahh” and “I see”. He didn’t talk much about himself neither. After Jongdae was done talking about his boring laboratory life, he inquired Sehun about his school year and what he was planning to do during his third year in university.</p><p>“Everything’s good so far, timetable shouldn’t be too packed next year so hopefully I can start planning what to do in future.” Sehun answered briefly, then the silence came again. Minseok and Junmyeon asked some follow-up questions, Sehun responded in his usual way and soon the room became silent again. The group decided it was perhaps time to call it off and have some good rest. They were going to the mountain the next day so sufficient sleep would be critical. </p><p>✧<br/>
They woke up early the next day and had a quick breakfast. Their destination was <em>Mt Hallasan</em>, South Korea’s tallest mountain and a designated UNESCO Biosphere Reserve. Minseok and Junmyeon sat at the front row of the private van they hired and the other three sat at the back with Baekhyun being sandwiched between Sehun and Jongdae.</p><p>“Are you feeling better now?” Jongdae asked his friend, he was delighted to see Baekhyun looking less pale than the night before.</p><p>“Yes, I’m much better now, learnt a lesson yesterday.” Baekhyun stuck his tongue out and answered in a playful way, an evidence that he had fully recovered. He rested his head on Jongdae’s shoulder, “sorry for making you guys worried.”</p><p>“Nah, we know Sehun is gonna take good care of you.” Jongdae smirked and Baekhyun hit his thigh immediately. They continued chatting all the way, Sehun joined them occasionally but remained quiet most of the time. </p><p>The group arrived the parking lot and started hiking up to <em>Mt Hallasan</em>. They picked <em>Eorimok trail</em>, a relatively short and relaxing route. The half-day hike was enjoyable and the views were spectacular. They were hiking along the forest painted in naturally healing green. Chirping of cicadas, tweeting of forest birds and sound of wind blowing through the woods harmonised to form a pleasant symphony. It was indeed a relaxing journey to relieve the tension that had piled up during this stressful year. </p><p>Sehun took plenty of stunning photos on the way. The group all complimented Sehun’s masterpieces when they scrolled through the photos during their break.</p><p>“Sehun, you are really talented, you need to make good use of your skills.” Junmyeon said enthusiastically.</p><p>“Hyung is right, I bet you will become one of the most successful photographer in future.” Jongdae seconded. </p><p>“Look, this photo of Baek is amazing.” Minseok pointed at a photo of Baekhyun grinning cheerfully under the sapphire sky while holding a Jeju tangerine on his hand, his cheeks turned rosy after being exposed under the sun for hours.</p><p>“Sehunie, you have to send this photo to Jeju tourism office, they should hire me as a model for Jeju tangerine.” Baekhyun burst into laugher when he saw his photo. </p><p>The group then went back to the city and bought ingredients for dinner, they decided to have barbecue at the guesthouse. Minseok, Jongdae and Sehun were the chefs of the night, they took turns to grill the food. The remaining two, a.k.a. the chaotic duo who would burn the kitchen, were busy setting up the dining table and preparing the drinks. </p><p>They only had light food for lunch so they were all starving after the hike. They started devouring the meat and the plates were emptied at lightning speed. </p><p>“Eat slowly, Baek, you won’t want to upset your stomach again.” Sehun reminded Baekhyun not to rush when eating. </p><p>“I know, I’m not a kid.” Sehun was right though, Baekhyun knew he had to be extra careful not to eat too much or too fast, or else his stomach would run into issues again.</p><p>They spent the rest of the night drinking soju (Baekhyun was the only one drinking coke) and having random chat. The atmosphere was completely different compared to the night before. Baekhyun’s presence made the mood much more lively, there was hardly any dead-air in between topics. They talked about what Minseok had to consider before moving to another continent, how should Junmyeon design his new apartment (in reality he didn’t really have a say... anyway.), why Jongdae ended up failing two of his courses in the last semester etc. The conversation went on for an hour or so before they turned to Sehun.</p><p>“Hey, Sehun, we have known each other for almost two years but sometimes I feel like I don’t know you at all.” Jongdae, after drinking some soju, spoke up about this little problem in his mind. “We all like you and treat you as our friend, but it’s just... kinda sad cos you don’t seem to trust us enough to open up about yourself.”</p><p>“... It’s not like I don’t trust you guys, I’m just... not a sociable person, on top of that I live a super boring life.” Sehun tried to explain himself, he was glad that they treated him as a friend, but it was rather difficult for him to be equally talkative as they were. </p><p>“Sehun, what are your passions in life?” Junmyeon asked.</p><p>“Ummm.. photography.” Another single-worded answer came from Sehun’s mouth, he didn’t really think elaboration was necessary.</p><p>“That’s all?” Junmyeon raised his eyebrows, “Hmmm, what about relationship? Do you have any love interest?” </p><p>Maybe it was the effect of the soju, Sehun didn’t avoid answering this kind of private question the way he usually did. This time, he shook his head without even thinking, “not at this moment, I’m sort of... <em>aromantic</em>.” </p><p>“No wonder you said your life is boring then... I completely see how dull it is.” Minseok wondered if he would be able to stand living like that.</p><p>Baekhyun’s heart sank when he heard Sehun saying he had no love interest right now. <em>Does it mean that I am overthinking and fantasising everything? Or is it just because he doesn’t want to discuss this openly?</em></p><p>“Baek, are you not feeling well?” Jongdae realised that Baekhyun seemed abnormally quiet and was concerned if he felt unwell again.</p><p>“Ahhh, no. I’m listening.” The effect of alcohol started to kick in after a while and the tipsy men just relaxed on the couch with the comfortable silence.</p><p>Baekhyun, the only sober one in the living room, laughed at his silly thought. His affection towards Sehun was growing with passage of time. Ever since he started paying attention to his own feelings, he realised that he was becoming more and more attached to Sehun. He wanted to spend time with Sehun, even though they were living under the same roof and were spending almost every weekend together. </p><p>Being a touchy person, Baekhyun also craved more physical contact with his shy friend. He habitually cuddled with Sehun at night and apparently Sehun already got used to having his friend attaching to him like a koala. Without being too obvious, Baekhyun started to initiate more contact with Sehun in a subtle way. He leaned on Sehun’s shoulder when they had their Friday movie night, he put his hand on Sehun’s waist when walking back to dormitory, he even back-hugged Sehun a couple of times when Sehun was making breakfast. </p><p>In Baekhyun’s eyes, all of these went beyond friendship. His pounding heart was telling him - <em>yes, he was in love with his best friend.</em></p><p> ✧<br/>
The group rested exceptionally well and were all energised the next day. They drove to the west part of Jeju Island and spent the afternoon at <em>Hallim Park</em>, where one could stay close to nature and inhale fresh air in various botanic gardens. It truly served the purpose of this trip. Staying in the city and focusing too much on studies stressed them out, these few days away from the crowds was like a mental detox , giving them a chance to cleanse their mind and recharge their bodies.</p><p>At around 6:30pm, the group arrived <em>Geumneung Eutteumwon Beach</em>, a beach near to the park. They settled at a spot with less people and were anticipating the sunset. It was indeed mesmerising, the pictures they had seen online didn’t do enough justice to this scene. They were all in awe when the golden sun shone and the sunbeam reflected on the turquoise water like gems, shadows of flying sea mews and palm trees were casted on the fine white sand, forming a perfect painting that would for sure leave a long-lasting memory in their mind.</p><p>Baekhyun lay next to Sehun on the beach mat, enjoying each other’s company with gentle sea breeze and the gradually darkened sky. It was a cloudless night, stars became more and more visible, shining diamonds filling the vast black space. </p><p>“Sehunie.” Baekhyun broke the silence and called Sehun’s name softly, almost like a whisper. Sehun responded with an “eh?”, voice low and husky.</p><p>“Look, there are hundreds of stars twinkling in the sky. We are here to admire their beauty, but they remain distant and unreachable. The whole scene looks surreal, so surreal that made me feel like I’m dreaming.” Baekhyun paused for a moment, “Sehunie, do you have dreams? Like, have you dreamt of how your future will be like?”</p><p>“Not really.” Sehun paused for a second, thinking. “You know, I’m not the ambitious type... probably a stable job and a gradually progressing career will be good enough. As long as I’m doing the stuffs I like, I don’t really have much to ask for.”</p><p>“Ahhh, doing the stuffs you like, that’s really important. As they said earlier, you will soon become a renowned photographer. <em>I have faith in you</em>.” </p><p>“What about you, Baekkie?”</p><p>“The sky is vast, the ocean is boundless. It may sound unrealistic, but I want to travel around the globe, Sehunie. I want to leave my footprints on every continent. I want to explore the world and meet new people, learn from them and write about them, things related to history, culture and humanity. Photography is your passion, and writing is mine. I want to make good use of it, and impact the society in a constructive way.” </p><p>“Your dream will definitely come true in future, <em>I have faith in you too</em>.” Sehun reassured Baekhyun, he really admired Baekhyun’s attitude, his passion towards life and eagerness to explore and learn.</p><p><em>Do you think... we will be part of each other’s future?</em> Baekhyun wanted to ask this question, desperate to solve this mystery. He wanted to know if he indeed occupied a special place in Sehun’s heart, he wanted to know if Sehun and he would have a future, together.</p><p>Yet, it didn’t seem the right time to ask. Baekhyun didn’t want to ruin the atmosphere, so the words were left unspoken. </p><p>Baekhyun turned his head, admiring Sehun’s face. His features weren’t entirely visible under the dark sky, but his silhouette was still flawless. Couldn’t resist Sehun’s charisma, Baekhyun scooted closer and whispered, “Sehunie, can you hug me?”</p><p>“Are you cold?” Sehun also turned his face towards Baekhyun. Baekhyun nodded his head, Sehun then put his arm on Baekhyun’s waist and pulled him close. It felt so natural, Baekhyun’s body fitted perfectly into Sehun’s strong arms, he rested his head on Sehun’s chest, smelling his favourite scent of cologne. Sehun’s embrace made Baekhyun feel warm and safe. <em>It felt like home</em>.</p><p>They remained in this position without saying anything for another 15 minutes, until the easily recognised high-pitched voice was heard, “oh wow, <em>lovebirds</em>, I don’t want to disturb you but it’s getting late, we should go.”</p><p>“Dae, don’t call us like that!” Baekhyun got up and hit Jongdae’s arm. Jongdae looked at him and smirked, his eyes said <em>‘I saw it all with my hawk eyes’</em>.</p><p>They concluded the night with a group selca taken under the starry night, it was little bit blurry yet fortunately the five smiley faces could still be seen clearly. Judging from their smile, all of them were genuinely happy at that moment.</p><p>✧<br/>
The following day was the last day of their trip. Baekhyun wanted to make a cake for the two hyungs and had a little celebration at the guesthouse before they left. This idea was not welcomed by neither Sehun or Jongdae, but Baekhyun insisted, and he won (as always). Three of them were busy with preparation in the kitchen while Minseok and Junmyeon were playing video games in their room. </p><p>“How many eggs are required? When should I add the sugar? Should I mix them like this? Why the mixture looks so liquidy? <em>Ahhhh...</em>” Baekhyun was scrambling in the kitchen, looking confused and helpless.</p><p>“Calm down Baek, give me the bowl, I’ll handle the mascarpone and whipped cream. Go and get the ladyfingers and dip them in the expresso mixture I prepared, remember, you needa be quick or else they will fall apart.” Sehun instructed Baekhyun to work on the base layer, which was supposedly the easiest part in making a tiramisu, probably the only part Baekhyun could manage too, <em>hopefully</em>. </p><p>While Baekhyun was playing around with the ladyfingers, Sehun and Jongdae started fixing the cream mixture. They finished everything and put the tiramisu into the refrigerator, it should be ready after they came back from shopping.</p><p>“Baekhyun, as a sincere advice, please never ever think of going into the kitchen, for the sake of your future lover.” Jongdae sighed when he looked at the mess Baekhyun created.</p><p>“Dae, you are so mean! I’ll find someone who is good at cooking so I don’t have to bother about that. Also, you are nothing better than me, Sehunie is the only reliable one here.” </p><p>“At least I know how to make the whipped cream mixture, and it looks decent!” Jongdae was having fun teasing his friend.</p><p>“I know how to make the ladyfingers layer, and they are arranged perfectly in the baking pan!” Baekhyun replied with a pout.</p><p>Their childish argument made Sehun chuckle. “Hey, don’t pout, you did well.” He petted Baekhyun’s fluffy hair and encouraged him, “let’s go and ask if Junmyeon hyung and Minseok hyung wanna go shopping now.” </p><p>A couple of hours later, they returned to the guesthouse, hands full of paper bags. Baekhyun and Sehun took the tiramisu from the kitchen and joined them in the living room. </p><p>“Here’s our little gift for you. Junmyeon hyung, happy graduation! We wish you all the best, hope you will enjoy your new job and new life with your girlfriend.” Baekhyun congratulated Junmyeon, who would soon join as a graduate trainee at a business consultancy firm.</p><p>“Minseok hyung, happy graduation to you too! I can’t imagine you will soon leave us. You have been such a caring hyung, taking good care of us all the time. Now It’s time to take good care of yourself, please stay healthy in the US and enjoy your adventure. We will definitely miss you a lot...” Jongdae gave Minseok a hug, both of them became slightly emotional.</p><p>Sehun cut the tiramisu and passed one piece to each of them. “Congratulations, Junmyeon hyung, Minseok hyung.”</p><p>“Thanks, wow it tastes nice! Sehun, I’m impressed.” Junmyeon didn’t expect Sehun to be good at cooking, he was surprised when the rich flavour hit his tastebuds.</p><p>“<em>Yaaaaaaa</em> hyung, I helped as well. Why don’t you praise me?” Baekhyun complained half-jokingly.</p><p>“It appears that all you did was soaking the ladyfingers and putting the tiramisu into the refrigerator?” Minseok chuckled, “Sehun, take good care of Baekhyun when we are not there, don’t let him burn the kitchen.” Baekhyun rolled his eyes and the group all burst into laughter.</p><p>Another group selca officially marked the end of this graduation trip. As time went by, they would choose different paths and enter into different stages of their lives. Colours of the photo would fade, and they would eventually forget the taste of the tiramisu. </p><p>Yet, this trip would definitely remain as one of the most invaluable memory in their lives, <em>regardless what was going to happen</em>.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>오늘도 니 안에 머물러<br/>
Today too I stay in you<br/>
오늘도 너만이 채워 줄<br/>
Today too is full of you<br/>
오늘도<br/>
Today too</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello here is the new chapter! I hope you’ll enjoy this virtual vacation to Jeju Island - I actually have never been there before (I’ve only visited Seoul a couple of times)! </p><p>Also, I forgot to mention last time, there are gonna be some little “parallels” in coming chapters (like the <em>Guatemala beans</em> in last chapter, if you’ve noticed), see if you can spot them while reading :D</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Butterfly Effect 03.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
<em>아주 여린 그 숨결에<br/>
At the touch of your soft breath<br/>
나의 마음이 쉴 곳을 찾아<br/>
My heart finds a place to rest<br/>
나를 감싸<br/>
And you surround me</em></p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun and Sehun finished another four interviews the following week, all of them went smooth. Baekhyun couldn’t deny, Sehun really excelled in his job. Leaving all their past issues aside and judging objectively, he was pleased and satisfied with Sehun’s work. It was the very first time throughout his career, as far as he remembered, that he didn’t complain about the quality of the photos to be used in his article.</p><p>It was almost 9pm and the office was noiseless, even one’s breathing sound could be heard clearly. It was the third consecutive nights Baekhyun stayed late in the office. Rubbing his eyes tiredly, he decided it was time for a break. He went to the pantry to refill his coffee cup. He wasn’t in his best condition these days, so he relied heavily on caffeine to keep himself awake and focused. Over reliance on coffee certainly had some drawbacks, one of them being frequent complaints from his stomach. </p><p><em>A few more hours to go, I can handle this.</em> Baekhyun thought, trying to ignore the stomachache that had been bothering him in the past few hours. <em>Just one more expresso.</em> He met Sehun on his way back to his work station and as usual, he avoided having any eye contact with Sehun.</p><p>“You look pale.” Sehun stopped right in front of Baekhyun and said.</p><p>“That’s none of your business.” Baekhyun was exhausted, he just wanted to finish his work, go home and rest. He had no energy to deal with this huge trouble named Oh Sehun. “Your work is done, just leave.”</p><p>Baekhyun didn’t give Sehun any time to respond, he just walked directly back to his work station, trying to concentrate on the last bit of his work with the help of his coffee. Another hour or so had passed, Baekhyun almost finished the compilation and yet, his typing speed became slower and slower, his stomachache had intensified. Feeling uncomfortable and sick, he bent over, lay his face down on the table and massaged his abdomen. The pain became so severe that he started to pant heavily. Baekhyun inhaled and exhaled while keeping his eyes shut, struggling to endure the pain. Suddenly, he felt a warm touch on his shoulder, he raised his head slowly and saw Sehun with a worried expression. </p><p>“Are you alright?” Sehun asked in a really concerned way, eyebrows frowning.</p><p>“Fine. I told you to leave didn’t I?” Baekhyun mumbled in a fatigue voice, the intense pain made speaking a difficult task.</p><p>“Stomachache, isn’t it? Your stomach has always been weak but you are drinking coffee like it was water, you...” Before Sehun could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by Baekhyun.</p><p>“I said it’s none of your business, just leave me alone!!!” He yelled, consuming all remaining energy left in his body. Sehun glared at Baekhyun without saying anything. Baekhyun started to let out soft painful whimpers, his face turned paler than before.</p><p>Then, all of a sudden, Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s waist and brought him up. He carried Baekhyun on his back, took his backpack and walked towards the elevator. Baekhyun wanted to protest, but he didn’t have the energy to do so.</p><p>“Don’t move, I’m bringing you home.” They waited at the taxi stand outside the office building for around 10 minutes. Baekhyun was leaning on Sehun’s shoulder, half-conscious, still occasionally moaning in pain. </p><p>After settling in the taxi, Sehun realised that he didn’t have Baekhyun’s address. Having no alternatives and not wanting to wake Baekhyun up, he gave the driver his own address. Sehun wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, allowing him to lie comfortably on his shoulder. </p><p>They arrived 20 minutes later. Sehun went straight to his bedroom and tucked Baekhyun into his bed. He then walked towards the kitchen to prepare a wet towel, medicine and hot water. Noticing Baekhyun looked uncomfortable and was sweating, Sehun wiped the sweat off Baekhyun’s face with the wet towel. He gently caressed Baekhyun’s cheek and stared at his pretty yet pale face, the dark circles under his eyes made Sehun’s heart ache.</p><p><em>No wonder he looks so listless now, he doesn’t even bother to take care of himself.</em> Sehun sighed. Baekhyun shifted his body left and right, apparently still feeling unwell. Sehun patted his shoulder and woke him, “Baek, take the medicine first, you can’t sleep like this.”</p><p>Sehun then helped Baekhyun up, fed him the medicine and water before tucking him into the bed again. He took Baekhyun’s hand and massaged it, like he used to do before. Baekhyun’s tense expression loosened a bit after a while, the medicine probably started to work. Sehun couldn’t help but to caress his cheek again. </p><p>
  <em>You have no idea how much I miss you.</em>
</p><p><em>I wanted to cuddle with you so badly, Baek, but you will probably freak out tomorrow when you wake.</em> Sehun chuckled when he imagined how Baekhyun would scream at him if he woke up in Sehun’s arms the next morning. </p><p>Making sure that Baekhyun was sleeping soundly, Sehun turned the light off and stepped out of the bedroom, he was going to sleep on his couch. </p><p><em>Good night, Baekkie</em>. Sehun closed his eyes and fell asleep within minutes.</p><p>✧<br/>
It felt like he had been sleeping for days when Baekhyun opened his eyes. He realised that he was lying on a soft mattress in an unfamiliar room with navy blue wall. Once Baekhyun was told by someone that blue, as a calm and soothing colour, was the best bedroom colour choice that helped one to have a solid sleep. That someone, was the one who carried him from office yesterday.</p><p>Baekhyun got up from the bed, trying to recall what happened the night before. His memory stopped at the moment when Sehun was helping him to get on the taxi, he barely remembered anything that happened afterwards. Entering the living room, he saw a blanket on the couch, <em>did Sehun sleep there yesterday?</em></p><p>The apartment was not very spacious, but it was neat and designed in a simple way. Sehun was a fan of minimalism, so the apartment did suit his style. </p><p>Sehun just came out from the kitchen and saw Baekhyun standing in the middle of the living room. “Hey, you’re awake. How do you feel?” Sehun was relieved that Baekhyun seemed to be in a better condition now.</p><p>”I’m... fine.” Baekhyun paused, hesitating if he should thank Sehun. “I think I should go.”</p><p>“Wait!” Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist immediately. “Eat something first, it’s almost 12pm and you haven’t eaten anything since yesterday evening. You won’t want to further hurt your stomach, come.” Sehun led Baekhyun to the dining table, ignoring his unwilling expression.</p><p>Baekhyun sat down without saying a word, he <em>hated</em> it. He hated the fact that Sehun was right, that indeed he was starving. He hated the soft and gentle way Sehun was talking to him. He hated Sehun for being nice and taking care of him. But, he hated himself most, he hated himself for allowing his heart to beat so uncontrollably fast when Sehun took his hand.</p><p>Baekhyun was confused, more than ever. He had so many questions in his mind that he wanted to ask, but at the same time he wasn’t sure if he was ready for the answer. <em>I’m just not into you.</em> He imagined the worst scenario, he wondered if he would ever be ready to hear these words coming directly from Sehun’s mouth. </p><p>The approaching footsteps brought Baekhyun back to reality, Sehun walked towards him, holding a tray with two plates and two cups on it. Baekhyun looked at the food Sehun prepared for him, didn’t know how to react. It was his favourite breakfast back then, pancake with maple syrup. Sehun even put strawberries in between layers. </p><p>“You must be hungry, you should eat.” Baekhyun obeyed and picked up the fork, Sehun smirked in triumph for his very first victory, he <em>just knew</em> strawberries pancake would work. While Baekhyun was eating, Sehun put the cup of tea in front of him. “Drink this too, chamomile tea is good for your stomach.” </p><p>Baekhyun continued eating, then he stopped and took a few sips of the tea. Sehun observed him in silence, glad to see that he soon emptied the plate. </p><p>“Do you want some more?” Sehun pointed at his plate and asked, Baekhyun hesitated for a second, but eventually shook his head. Sehun smiled, insisted to put a few strawberries on Baekhyun’s plate, “at least finish these.”</p><p>Baekhyun paused again, but finally gave in and ate them all. The feeling was so conflicting. He had been enraged, hurt and disappointed for so long, but all these simple gestures from Sehun caught him off-guard. His heart had never beaten so fast ever since he buried his affection towards Sehun deep inside his sea of emotions. He didn’t want to admit, but his own heart betrayed him before he even realised.</p><p>Knowing very well that Baekhyun didn’t want to talk to him, Sehun started tidying up the dining table and brought the plates to the kitchen. Baekhyun was left alone in the living room, he walked around to look for his bag and stopped in front of a huge world map, the only decoration Sehun had in his living room. </p><p>There were over 50 photos pinned on the map, they were probably taken by Sehun when he travelled or worked abroad. Baekhyun took a closer look at the photos, those were like Sehun’s footprints, he followed his trace from North America -  <em>Yellowstone National Park</em> in the US, South America - <em>Machu Picchu</em> in Peru, Europe - <em>Jungfraujoch</em> in Switzerland, to Middle East - <em>Cappadocia</em> in Turkey etc. When he set eyes back on Asia, his motion froze, mouth widened. Asia - <em>Jeju Island</em> in Korea.</p><p>It was the only photo on the wall with a person in it. It was <em>him</em>, on that hiking trail at <em>Mt Hallasan</em>, holding that sweet Jeju tangerine, grinning like the happiest person on earth.</p><p>Baekhyun was searching for a logical explanation to this, he was utterly bewildered. All these years of emotional roller coaster ride taught him a lesson on expectation management, in a hard way. To raise his hope and end up in another heartbreak was the least thing he wanted to do, he didn’t want to make the same mistake twice. Too concentrated on the photo, he didn’t realise Sehun was approaching. </p><p>“You are beautiful when you smile.” Baekhyun turned around and saw Sehun standing very close to him, the proximity made him uncomfortable so he stepped away immediately. </p><p>“I need to go now.” Baekhyun took his bag and wanted to leave.</p><p>“Baek, before you go, can you promise me two things?” Sehun looked at Baekhyun, with a sincere but serious expression. Baekhyun remained silent so Sehun continued. “Take good care of yourself, and... give me a chance to... sort things out?”</p><p>Baekhyun didn’t know how to respond, his mind was completely messed up right now, he didn’t want to stay in this apartment any longer, he just couldn’t. Ignoring Sehun’s request, he walked towards the entrance. </p><p>Before he left, he muttered a few words, “...  about yesterday and this morning, thanks.”</p><p><em>Maybe it isn’t that bad after all.</em> Sehun smiled to himself, he needed to work harder.</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun arrived office at the usual time, early in the morning when the office was empty. He was looking for his expresso cup but it was nowhere to be found. Instead, there was a thermal mug placed on his desk, next to it was a blueberry muffin and a memo. </p><p><em>Caffeine-free challenge - day 1/30. Remember to eat, Baekkie.</em> There was even a cute puppy drawing next to the message. Baekhyun sighed, he wasn’t sure how to feel about this. The muffin was still hot, meaning Sehun was here not long ago. </p><p><em>He knew I hate wasting food.</em> Baekhyun rolled his eyes. <em>He knew I will eat it.</em> And Sehun was right, Baekhyun took the muffin and started eating. While he was enjoying the sweet scent of blueberry, he opened the thermal mug, it was hot lemon water with honey.</p><p>Baekhyun wasn’t stupid, he knew he was risking his health for nothing. He had been a workaholic for years, spending days and nights in office. He was used to staying up late a couple of days before deadline, often skipping meals. His over reliance on caffeine worsened his stomach problem, and he chose to ignore it until now.</p><p>He felt strange. Sehun’s action made him he feel warm-hearted for a moment, before all the disheartening feelings from the past flashed back. His heart was torn between two conflicting waves of emotions. He was already used to distancing himself from the others, forcing himself to be calm and indifferent, a sudden and unexpected friendly gesture startled him. Baekhyun hid inside the iceberg for so long, a gentle warm touch felt like burning fire to him now. He had no idea how to handle this. </p><p>Drinking the hot lemon water with honey, Baekhyun thought about <em>closure</em>, once again.</p><p>✧<br/>
It became a routine in the following days, the little breakfast and hot drink were already on his desk when Baekhyun arrived office. He still didn’t know where was his expresso cup, but he did try his best to avoid coffee. <em>I do this not because of him, but for my own good,</em> he said to himself.</p><p>He often met Sehun in the office, when he was heading to Leeteuk’s office, when he came back from lunch, when they were having their regular meeting. Sehun didn’t attempt to talk to him, instead he just smiled and nodded his head.</p><p>“Do you know what I saw this morning in office?” Wendy asked during their morning coffee break.</p><p>“Don’t be like that, just tell us.” Mark responded.</p><p>“You know, I had an early call this morning so I arrived at 7. I saw Sehun sneaking into our office and put an <em>Onigiri</em> (rice ball) and a bottle of green tea on our ice prince’s desk.” Wendy smirked and whispered to the group with a satisfied expression, proud of her discovery.</p><p>“Ahhh I just knew it, he looks at Baekhyun oppa differently.” Joy agreed, recalling how Sehun looked at Baekhyun during their meetings.</p><p>“Oh <em>daebak</em>, it’s him! I also noticed there were different food and drink on Baekhyun’s desk everyday. Wow, Sehun’s taste is... special.” Jaehyun said in a low voice.</p><p>“What’s so special about me?” Sehun just passed by the pantry and heard his name.</p><p>“Ummm... Nothing...” Jaehyun was embarrassed but before he tried to switch the topic, he was interrupted by Wendy.</p><p>“Sehun, do you like our ice prince?” Asked Wendy, who wanted to make use of this opportunity to confirm her suspicion.</p><p>Sehun chuckled, it appeared that he had underestimated his colleagues, they were more observant than he thought. He made a <em>shhhhh</em> gesture and said, “keep this secret for me for now.”</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun was having lunch with Chanyeol in the foodcourt downstairs, it was raining outside so the foodcourt was more packed than usual. They managed to find a table for four and sat down after ordering their lunch. It had been two weeks since Baekhyun avoided coffee, it was really torturous. As a little treat, he decided to have a “cheating day” and ordered an Americano.</p><p>When they were about to start eating, a person took the seat next to Baekhyun. “Mind if I sit here? The foodcourt is full.” Sehun asked, but it didn’t seem like he was asking at all, he just put his tray down directly. </p><p>Baekhyun’s eyebrows frowned, he wanted to say no but Park-nice-friendly-handsome-happy-virus-Chanyeol reacted faster, “hey, yes sure. You are Sehun, right? I’m Chanyeol from Marketing department.” He said with his signature wide grin.</p><p>“Hi Chanyeol, nice to meet you. Yah, I’m Sehun from the design team.” Sehun turned his face and looked at Baekhyun, Baekhyun suddenly felt guilty, like a child eating too many candies without his mom’s permission.</p><p><em>Why should I feel guilty? I have done nothing wrong, and that’s none of his business!</em> Baekhyun thought. He decided to ignore Sehun and start his meal, then he realised Sehun was putting some of his baked fish fillet and mashed potatoes onto his plate. Chanyeol was completely shocked by Sehun’s action.</p><p>“You can’t just eat mixed salad everyday, you need a more balanced diet.” Sehun said, in a tender voice. “And this for sure is a no-go.” He pointed to the Americano then took it away.</p><p>“Hey, I told you not to mind my business, and that is decaf!!!” Baekhyun pouted and whined. Chanyeol’s eyes turned even bigger when he heard Baekhyun whining like that.</p><p>“You do know that decaf coffee is still not caffeine free, right? Drink this instead. Now my mission is done, enjoy your meal. I’ll join Jaehyun and Mark over there.” Sehun smiled then walked towards his colleagues, leaving Baekhyun and Chanyeol both speechless, but for different reasons.</p><p><em>Again, he knew I will eat them. Bastard.</em> Baekhyun sank into deep thought while looking at his plate, now full of food, and the hot chocolate Sehun left on his tray.</p><p>“Baek, do you know him before he joins us?” Chanyeol’s intuition told him there was something between Sehun and Baekhyun.</p><p>“... We studied in the same university.” Baekhyun didn’t want to talk about their past, so he gave the briefest answer.</p><p>“Just a wild guess, is he... that <em>somebody</em> in your mind?” Baekhyun’s reluctance to talk about their relationship somehow verified Chanyeol’s suspicion.</p><p>“I told you I don’t have <em>anybody</em>...”</p><p>“You seldom show expression on your face, Baek, yet you were pouting and whining just now. You tried hard to hide, but there is affection in your eyes when you look at him. I have never seen you <em>like that</em> and I have known you for five years.” Chanyeol hated himself for paying too much attention on his crush, he discovered things that he wished he’d never know.</p><p>Baekhyun felt defeated, he failed to find words to defend himself, because what Chanyeol said was true. They finished the meal quickly and walked back to their respective offices in silence.</p><p>“You don’t have to tell me everything, just <em>be honest to yourself</em>.” Chanyeol said before entering his office.</p><p>✧<br/>
Another two weeks passed, Baekhyun arrived early as usual. He looked around his desk and realised that something was different today. The thermal mug was gone and there was no breakfast. Then he remembered, yesterday was the 30th day. <em>So he really stops after a month,</em> Baekhyun pouted, he couldn’t help but felt slightly disappointed. </p><p>On the other hand, his expresso cup was back to its original place. There was a memo next to the cup. </p><p><em>Is one month’s breakfast sufficient to exchange for a chance to talk? I’m waiting for you at the pantry.</em> </p><p><em>Maybe he should give Sehun a chance, maybe he should also give himself a chance.</em> Baekhyun walked towards the pantry and saw Sehun standing next to the bar table, drinking his tea.</p><p>“Hi, I thought you won’t come and I have to finish my tea alone.” Sehun smiled.</p><p>“What do you want to talk about?” </p><p>“A lot, about you, about me, about... us, but I don’t think we have enough time now.” Sehun paused for a moment and observed Baekhyun’s reaction. “I will be on business trip to Japan next week, can we talk after I’m back?”</p><p>Sehun was holding his breath, looking at Baekhyun with a serious expression, and was relieved when Baekhyun finally nodded his head.</p><p>“I promise, I promise I will explain everything.” Then Sehun took something from the refrigerator and gave them to Baekhyun. “It’s your breakfast, the chestnut tart and strawberry milk have to be refrigerated, so I didn’t put them on your desk.”</p><p>Baekhyun’s heart skipped a beat when he saw his favourite strawberry milk. He remembered Sehun would always make sure their fridge had stocks when they were in school. <em>What is this feeling?</em> Baekhyun asked himself, <em>is it the feeling of... touched?</em></p><p>He took the food from Sehun and muttered, “thanks.”</p><p>“You’re welcome. I’m more than willing to do this for you everyday, as long as you are taking good care of yourself. I have a meeting now, gotta go. You’ll join the annual party tonight, right?”</p><p>“... yes, I guess.” Baekhyun didn’t like party or gathering with large group of people, but Leeteuk always wanted him to at least participate in the annual party, so he had no choice but to agree.</p><p>“Then I’ll see you there.”</p><p>✧<br/>
The annual party took place at a dining hall which was divided into four areas, one area was reserved for refreshments, next to it was a couple of bar height tables mainly for mingling, there was a little stage in the middle for those who wanted to  dance and the area furthest from the entrance was a photo booth where people could take photos with props. </p><p>Baekhyun was drinking red wine on his own, at a bar height table near the corner. He just finished chatting with Leeteuk and Donghae, talking mainly about work completed this year, those received positive feedback and those failed to draw public’s attention. He was not in a particular good mood, he was not fond of gatherings and could barely stand the noise. <em>At least they chose good music,</em> he comforted himself.</p><p>Leeteuk then gathered the crowd and started his welcoming speech. He represented the company’s management team to deliver a short business update and thanked everyone for their hard work. They had a challenging yet fulfilling year where they achieved a growth despite adverse business environment and fierce competition. He also acknowledged some employees for their extra effort put into the magazine, Baekhyun was one of them. He complimented Baekhyun for his excellent writing, the unique topics he picked often trended on search engine after the articles were published. He concluded the speech by encouraging the team to look forward to the following year and start brainstorming new ideas.</p><p>Two glasses of red wine were emptied while Baekhyun was listening to Leeteuk’s speech, though he wasn’t really paying attention. His mind was full of someone, and that someone was talking to a few ladies from the Marketing department, laughing happily with eyes turning into crescents. His wine glass was refilled, and he started drinking again. He was not a fan of alcohol, but he was in desperate need of it now, more than ever. He didn’t understand why his mind, after all these years he had been through, was still easily affected by Sehun, his soft voice, his charming face, his powerful gaze. <em>I promise I will explain everything,</em> a simple sentence like this was enough to break Baekhyun’s wall of defence, his usual calmness vanished and he felt completely out of place. </p><p>He refrained himself from having any anticipation, because his fragile heart couldn’t stand another disappointment, another heartbreak. He was drenched in his conflicting thoughts again while emptying his third glass of wine, followed by the fourth. He eventually lost count of how many glass of wine he had swallowed, when he reached for his wine glass again he felt some resistance.</p><p>“That’s enough, you drank too much.” Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist, taking the wine glass from him by force.</p><p>“None of... your business...” Baekhyun flung Sehun’s hand off and immediately stepped away. However, alcohol made him dizzy, he lost his balance once he moved and fell directly onto Sehun’s chest.</p><p>“You’re drunk, let me take you home.” Sehun put his hand on Baekhyun’s waist to keep him from falling, Baekhyun just leaned his head on Sehun’s chest, on the edge of collapsing. </p><p>Wendy and Joy witnessed the whole scene and smiled at each other knowingly. They took Baekhyun’s bag from the storage room and went towards Sehun.</p><p>“Hey, here is his bag, quickly send him home.” Joy gave the bag to Sehun and smirked.</p><p>“... I don’t have his address.” </p><p>“Just go and call a taxi, I will send it to you.” Wendy winked at Sehun. </p><p>Sehun smiled and said, “thank you.”</p><p>“Thank us after you guys become official. I still don’t understand why you fall for such a difficult person.” Wendy shrugged her shoulder.</p><p>“<em>He is not difficult, you just don’t know him well enough.</em>” Sehun helped Baekhyun stand up and they walked slowly towards the entrance.</p><p>✧<br/>
Sehun found Baekhyun’s apartment key from his pocket, he opened the door and carried Baekhyun into his bedroom after taking off his shoes. Baekhyun kept murmuring something incomprehensible. Sehun took off his own shoes and lay down next to Baekhyun. He looked at Baekhyun’s rosy cheeks and drunk face for a few seconds, before he extended his arms and pulled Baekhyun into his embrace.</p><p>It felt so familiar, Baekhyun’s body, Baekhyun’s scent, Baekhyun’s warmth. Sehun had been craving this long enough, he missed Baekhyun more than anything else in the world. Still in half-conscious state, Baekhyun felt the hand on his waist, someone was hugging him tight, it felt safe and warm. It had been years since someone had hugged him in his sleep, he felt unreal. </p><p>He wondered how the person looked like, but he was scared to know the one hugging him was not the one he wanted, the only one he had ever wanted. Still, he decided to open his eyes, and he saw Sehun staring at him. </p><p>
  <em>The one he wanted.</em>
</p><p>Baekhyun secretly laughed at himself, it was not possible, he was dreaming. Sehun didn’t say anything, he just stared at him with an expression full of tenderness and affection. <em>Damn, Sehun looks so perfect and handsome even in dreams.</em> They kept fixing their gaze at each other in silence.</p><p><em>If it is just a dream... can I...?</em> Without second thought, Baekhyun slowly leaned towards Sehun. <em>Just one kiss, just once.</em> When their lips were almost touching, Sehun turned his head slightly and pulled Baekhyun’s head close to his shoulder, tightening the hug. After a few seconds of silence, he felt something wet on his shoulder. Baekhyun was sobbing. </p><p>“Why...” Baekhyun mumbled with a shaky voice, Sehun could feel his body trembling while he spoke. “Why you have to turn away from me even in a dream... why...”</p><p>“No, it’s not like that, Baek..” Sehun felt terrible hearing Baekhyun’s miserable cry. He tried to comfort Baekhyun by petting his hair and stroking his back back and forth as if he was a child. “It’s not like that...”</p><p>It took Sehun a while to calm Baekhyun down, he loosened his grip when Baekhyun’s breath finally became stable after some time. Sehun stared at the tiny figure sleeping soundly inside his arms, he was still the same person who loved cuddling with him in their dormitory years ago. He caressed Baekhyun’s cheek one more time before he closed his eyes and rested.</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun opened his eyes slowly after a long undisturbed sleep. His eyes were dry and he had slight headache, probably due to over drinking the night before. He was paralysed when he realised that he was facing a firm chest, his waist being tightly held by a pair of arms that felt way too familiar to him. He tilted his head up and saw Sehun still sleeping. </p><p>Lots of question mark appeared in his head, he couldn’t remember anything - and he blamed his almost nonexistent alcohol tolerance for that. His breath turned heavy and rushed, heart rate spiking. His entire body was caged by Sehun and it was impossible to get up without waking him. Yet, Baekhyun didn’t really want to leave his embrace, this long lost feeling was addictive and he didn’t want it to end so soon. He scooted closer to Sehun, closed his eyes again, allowing himself to indulge a little bit longer.</p><p>In fact, Sehun was awake way before Baekhyun did. He was taking his time to enjoy having Baekhyun in his arms. He couldn’t hide his smile when Baekhyun scooted closer to him and tightened his hug. It was one of the best moment of his life. If possible, he would like to stay like this forever, unfortunately reality didn’t allow him to do so, not now.</p><p>Half an hour later, Sehun gently petted Baekhyun’s hair and whispered close to his ear, “Baekkie, wake up.” Baekhyun pouted and buried his face in Sehun’s chest, still didn’t want to wake up.</p><p>“Did you sleep well?” Sehun asked when Baekhyun finally opened his eyes and looked at him. Baekhyun’s eyes widened once he was pulled back to reality, he tried to push Sehun away but was in vain.</p><p>“You slept in my arms the entire night and the first thing you do when you wake up is to push me away, huh?” He chuckled when he saw Baekhyun’s face turn red. </p><p>“Let me go.” Feeling embarrassed, Baekhyun tried to push Sehun again but Sehun was just too strong. The more Baekhyun resisted, the tighter Sehun was holding him. </p><p>“Look at me, Baek.” </p><p>There was almost no space between the two of them. When they locked eyes with each other, the whole world seemed to freeze. Baekhyun didn’t know what to do, he felt completely numb. His heart was racing against his wish, and the way Sehun gently stroked his back added further fuel to the fire. He didn’t know for how long they had been staring at each other, tension between them was accumulating, he felt like he was burning inside. Yet, he didn’t break the eye contact. Sehun always got the distinctive aura that caught his attention, he was captivated and was not able to look away. </p><p>Sehun put his hand on Baekhyun’s nape and pulled his head close. “I wish I could hug you longer, but I have to catch my flight.” Again, he whispered into Baekhyun’s ear, voice soft as usual.</p><p>“We’ll talk when I’m back, huh?” Before Baekhyun reacted, Sehun placed a quick peck on his forehead and got up from his bed. “See you, Baekkie. Don’t forget to eat.”</p><p>It took a couple of minutes for Baekhyun to wake completely. He was still processing what had happened, feeling confused once again. Yet, the first thought that came into his mind was he started missing Sehun’s warmth the moment he left his bed.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>내 안에 바람처럼 불어온 Angel<br/>
An angel blowing into me like the wind<br/>
네게서 일어난 온기가 변화시켜 날<br/>
The warmth I gain from you changes me<br/>
이젠 두렵지 않아 내 곁엔 니가 있어<br/>
I’m not afraid anymore, because you’re by my side<br/>
이 손을 놓지 않을 테니<br/>
Because you won’t let go of my hand<br/>
You’re saving my life, saving my life<br/>
사라지지 마<br/>
Don’t leave me</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Hello, I’m updating more often because I want to finish posting this by end of next week! We have some progress this time (finally...), their interactions in this story are actually quite fun to write :)</p><p>Hope you have spotted those “parallels” and the *little hint* on what happened in the past as well. Happy reading!</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0006"><h2>6. Day After Day 03.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
<em>긴 어둠만 쓰게 삼키던<br/>
After bitterly swallowing the long darkness<br/>
니 추억과 다툰 밤이 지나도<br/>
Even if the night of fighting with memories of you passes<br/>
고요해진 새벽과 함께 밀려온<br/>
When it pushes in with the quietness of the dawn<br/>
긴 공허함을 떨치고 싶어<br/>
I want to get rid of this long emptiness</em></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>너를 그려 보는 걸<br/>
I think about you<br/>
니 맘 다 느껴져 얼마나 많은 걸<br/>
I know how you felt, how much you had to<br/>
비워 내야 했을지 (이런 내게서)<br/>
Erase (from someone like me)<br/>
긴 그리움만 저물어 가<br/>
Only the lengthy longing comes to an end </em>
</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>People come, people go.</em> When Minseok and Junmyeon graduated from university and started pursuing their dreams, new faces were welcomed to their social circle when they started their third year of university life. Jongdae befriended Jongin, another member to be added to the <em>Kim</em> squad, who was also majoring in pharmacy and was one year younger than him. </p><p>Baekhyun met Minho in one of his elective course. Apart from being a final year student majoring in international relations (and minoring in psychology, <em>wow</em>) with excellent GPA, Minho was also the president of the student council. He was often seen on stage, delivering speeches during ceremony and important functions, he was charming, mature yet talkative and easygoing. Both had similar taste in movies and books so they got along well, they even joined a reading club together where they would book a coffee shop and hold bi-weekly reading sessions. </p><p>Sehun seemed to be indifferent with the addition of two new friends to their group. Following an advice of his senior, he started taking up freelance job during his spare time. He often skipped the group’s gathering because of the crash in schedule. </p><p>The roommates still managed to keep their routine though, home made dinner (prepared by Sehun, of course), Friday movie night and weekend hangout were all their business-as-usuals. </p><p>“Hey, you’re back. Have you eaten?” Sehun, sitting on the couch watching news, asked when he heard Baekhyun entering their dormitory after the Saturday reading session.</p><p>“Oh, we just had fried chicken and beer, I’m so full now, my tummy is gonna explode.” Baekhyun chuckled while patting his tummy. </p><p>“How many times do I have to remind you you need to be careful with your stomach?” Sehun glared at Baekhyun.</p><p>“I know! That’s why I didn’t finish all of it myself, Minho hyung ate almost half of my portion, and I drank apple juice while everyone else in the restaurant was having beer...” Baekhyun pouted and hit Sehun’s arm, “don’t treat me like this, I’m not a kid.”</p><p>“Alright, my bad. Movie after you take a shower?”</p><p>“Of course, I’ll be back soon.”</p><p>Two and a half hours later, Baekhyun was hiding himself inside the blanket, whining. “Oh Sehun, I <em>hate</em> you. You didn’t tell me this is such a terrifying movie.” </p><p>“Baekkie, it is a thriller, what do you expect?” Sehun laughed when he saw Baekhyun curling up like a ball. “It’s not that terrifying... they are just zombies.”</p><p>“They look disgusting... I hate you!!!” Baekhyun pulled the blanket up so that his entire face was covered. “Come and cuddle with me, then I will consider forgiving you.” He murmured.</p><p>Baekhyun’s heart went racing again when Sehun hugged his waist, which almost became their habitual sleeping posture. “Better now, huh?”</p><p>Baekhyun didn’t say anything but buried himself in Sehun’s embrace. He was somehow scared by his racing heart, he didn’t think he could hold this back for much longer.</p><p>“Don’t be angry, I’ll let you choose the movies from now on, okay?” Sehun whispered in his husky voice, his hot breath sending chills down Baekhyun’s spine.</p><p>“Let’s sleep, I’m tired.” Baekhyun scooted even closer to Sehun and closed his eyes.</p><p>
  <em>Good night, Sehunie.</em>
</p><p>The only issue was, Baekhyun’s mind was filled with thoughts and he couldn’t sleep. He opened his eyes when he knew Sehun had fallen asleep. Tilting his head up, he took his time appreciating Sehun’s perfect features, he was addicted to every inch of Sehun’s face and could hardly look away.</p><p>
  <em>What if...? Can I...?</em>
</p><p>Baekhyun slowly leaned towards Sehun, before his courage vanished, he placed a quick peck on Sehun’s lips. It could hardly be called a kiss, it was just connecting their lips momentarily. Yet, it was enough to make Baekhyun feel like having a heart attack. <em>Maybe I do love him more than I thought,</em> he fell asleep with a contented smile on his face.</p><p>
  <em>Sehunie, next time I’m gonna kiss you when you are sober.</em>
</p><p>✧<br/>
“So, what do you want to talk about?” Jongdae got 10 consecutive texts from Baekhyun saying <em>‘URGENTTTTT!!! I needa talk!!!’</em> in the morning and now the duo were sitting side by side in a coffee shop a couple of minutes walk away from the campus.</p><p>“... Umm... I may... may have kissed Sehunie yesterday night.” Baekhyun’s cheeks reddened when he recalled the <em>kiss</em>.</p><p>“Whatttt??? Details please.” </p><p>“Actually, it’s not really a kiss. You know I like cuddling with him when we sleep, right. I was suddenly out of my mind and pecked him on his lips really quickly. He was asleep by that time and barely noticed it, now I’m the one acting weird, I escaped from the dorm this morning without eating the breakfast he made. Dae, I don’t know what to do.”</p><p>“Byun Baekhyun, you are so whipped. You like him a lot, don’t you?” </p><p>“Yah, I mean, I was super happy when he gifted me that puppy plushie he got from the arcade on Valentines’ day. Although he gave it to me simply because I love puppies, it still excited me more than the gift I got from Minho hyung. You know, he got me a special edition of <em>Orwell’s collection</em> with his friend’s help, that collection is super difficult to find, not to say it costs a fortune. I don’t know why, I wasn’t touched by that at all... but everything Sehunie did makes me fluster.”</p><p>“Sometimes I really don’t understand your taste on men, Baek. You choose our cold and difficult Sehun over the perfect star student Minho.” </p><p><em>“He is not difficult, you just don’t know him well enough.”</em> Baekhyun defended his crush immediately. </p><p>“If you have such strong feelings towards him, you should confess. Why are you still hesitating? It’s not like you at all.” </p><p><em>Right, why am I still hesitating?</em> Baekhyun took the last bite of his donut, thinking perhaps it was really the right time for him to confess to Sehun.</p><p>“You’re right, I don’t like dragging things for so long neither. I guess... I will tell him on my birthday, he promised he will celebrate with me.” <em>I will tell him, he is the birthday present I want the most.</em> Baekhyun finished his iced chocolate and made up his mind. </p><p>He got to be brave this time. </p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun was in awe when he returned to his dormitory on his birthday. Sehun cooked a couple of dishes for him, which were all Baekhyun’s favourite. They opened a bottle of champagne and had a great time enjoying the nice food. The atmosphere was perfect, except that the fearless confident boy was nervous about what he was gonna do. <em>Confess.</em></p><p>Sehun excused himself from the table to get the present he prepared for Baekhyun. Baekhyun gulped down a whole glass of champagne and took a couple of deep breaths, mentally preparing himself. <em>Byun Baekhyun, don’t be a coward, you can do it.</em></p><p>“Hey, Baekkie. Happy birthday!” A few minutes later, Sehun returned with a nicely wrapped present on his hand.</p><p>“Sehunie, thank you, for both the dinner and the present.” Baekhyun was grinning once he got the present, he could hardly contain his happiness. </p><p>“Open it.” Sehun said softly. Baekhyun unwrapped the present and saw a leather scrapbook album, there was a world map engraved on the cover. Inside the album, there were photos taken by Sehun since they had known each other. Most of them were photos of the places they had been to, occasionally there were photos of the duo and the rest of their squad. Flipping through the pages was like taking a quick tour on the memory lane, seeing how they grew up together, years boiled down into minutes, emotions condensed inside the images.</p><p>“Thanks so much!!! You must have put huge effort making this for me, I absolutely love it!” Baekhyun’s heart was leaping up for joy. Feeling encouraged, he stood up and walked closer to Sehun. <em>It’s time, now.</em></p><p>“Sehun.” Baekhyun stopped just inches apart from Sehun and called his name tenderly. Sehun stared at him, waiting for him to continue speaking. “Can I... ask for one more birthday present?”</p><p>“What is it?” Sehun asked, slightly confused.</p><p>Baekhyun wrapped his arms around Sehun’s nape, leaned in slowly, gradually closing the distance between the two. </p><p>“<em>This</em> is what I want.” Baekhyun was looking directly into Sehun’s eyes, his own eyes were sparkling, full of anticipation. He was so overwhelmed with excitement that he missed the slightly shocked expression Sehun failed in hiding. </p><p>When their lips were almost touching, Sehun turned his head away. All of a sudden, the feverish longing died down, the room was left with silence, <em>only silence.</em></p><p>“... Sehun?” Baekhyun didn’t expect such reaction from Sehun at all. All the interactions between them led him to believe that Sehun also had feelings towards him, that the admiration and affection were mutual. He had no idea why Sehun would turn him down like this.</p><p>“... Baek... what are you doing?” Sehun responded with a question, still couldn’t comprehend the situation.</p><p>“I...” Baekhyun took a step away from Sehun, no longer having his arms on Sehun’s shoulders. “I said I want <em>you</em> as my birthday present. I want to be with you, not just as a friend but as someone who loves you and someone you love. I thought... I thought our feelings are mutual?”</p><p>Another whole minute of deadly silence filled the room, making Baekhyun anxious. Then he saw it, he finally saw the expression on Sehun’s face, eyes slightly widened, surprised and even little bit <em>frightened.</em> </p><p>It wasn’t what Baekhyun had rehearsed a hundred times in his head. He thought of many scenarios - getting nervous and forgetting everything he wanted to say, being overwhelmed when Sehun kissed him back, losing himself when Sehun smiled at him and hugged him... but <em>turning his head away and asking “what are you doing”</em> was not one of the scenarios he had prepared himself for.</p><p>Sehun hadn’t said anything yet, but the silence was self-explanatory, it already served as an unspoken form of rejection.</p><p>“Sehun, so you don’t... you don’t love me?” Baekhyun asked, voice trembling, vision started to blur.</p><p>“Baek... I... I thought we are really good friends and our relationship is... <em>platonic</em>? I don’t see you... that way.” Sehun, after gathering his thought, answered. </p><p>“You didn’t deny when people called us lovebirds, you only smile and open up in front of me, you let me cuddle with you every night when we sleep, you spend more than half of your leisure time with me doing all sort of things that couple does... and now you say our relationship is... <em>platonic</em>?!” Baekhyun raised his voice, he couldn’t believe in what Sehun just said.</p><p>“I thought you are just... friendly and affectionate towards people?” Sehun wanted to comfort Baekhyun by patting his shoulder, but he gave up very soon, Baekhyun didn’t look like he wanted to be touched right now.</p><p>“Oh Sehun! I don’t just jump onto whoever’s bed and cuddle with that person!!” Baekhyun was almost yelling, he sounded frustrated and helpless. “Yes, I have a lot of friends, but I am not clingy with any of them the way I am with you, can’t you see it?!” The more he said, the more painful he felt. All the love, attention and time he gave in the past years were in vain. Sehun’s words were like a sharp knife, stabbing right in Baekhyun’s heart, word by word.</p><p>“If you don’t love me, why you treat me so differently... why don’t you push me away when I initiate physical contact... why you have to get my hope up?” Baekhyun murmured, tears started to fall from his eyes, his whole body was shaking. </p><p>“You are my best friend, Beakhyun, why would I push you away? I’ve never really thought about this... you know, since we are both... <em>guys.</em>” Sehun sighed, he had seldom seen Baekhyun crying and he was completely clueness on how to deal with such situation. </p><p>“... so at the end of the day, it’s a matter of <em>sexual orientation</em>?” Still weeping, Baekhyun asked in an almost inaudible voice. Since the two of them got along really well and were so intimate, he never thought about asking Sehun this question. </p><p>“I... I don’t know. I’m never good with feelings... nor words.” Sehun didn’t know how to explain himself without hurting Baekhyun more. Everything happened came as a surprise to him as well, it felt like getting a bash on his head. He didn’t lie, he never thought about the relationship between Baekhyun and him could possibly be something beyond friendship. Baekhyun was his best friend since day one, the one who was always by his side, his presence was so natural, too natural that Sehun didn’t realise Baekhyun’s attitude towards him was changing over the years.</p><p>“... It hurts, whatever you just said hurts, even the silence hurts.“ Baekhyun took a deep breath before he poured his heart out, exposing his feelings and vulnerability in front of Sehun, for one last time.</p><p>“... It hurts, it hurts when you don’t feel my affection and effort, instead you think everything I did was merely because I am amiable. You are oblivious to how different I treat you compared to the others, it made me feel like... I’m a complete failure.” Baekhyun’s voice sounded hoarse after intense crying.</p><p>“... It hurts, it hurts when all you did over the years led me towards the conclusion that it is possible between us, and then everything is overruled by one single sentence of <em>‘I don’t see you that way’</em>.” Baekhyun wiped his tears away from his face, his eyes red and swollen. </p><p>“You know, sometimes false hope hurts more than a clear rejection.” Baekhyun sighed. Tonnes of emotions were flooding in his mind right now. He was disheartened, frustrated, enraged and after all... <em>deeply hurt.</em></p><p>“Baek...” Sehun extended his hand and grabbed Baekhyun’s wrist. He was completely numb, he had never seen Baekhyun like this. Baekhyun was always cheerful and positive, he was like the warm summer sun, he was like the vitamin that everyone needed. However, the sun was now blocked by a layer of dark clouds, thunderstorm was approaching.</p><p>“<em>Understand your feelings and act accordingly, please.</em> Breaking one person’s heart like this is enough.” Baekhyun withdrew his hand from Sehun’s, walked towards the door, and left the dormitory after mumbling these words with his remaining rationality. </p><p>Sehun stood still, after the sound of Baekhyun’s footsteps vanished, all he could hear was his heavy breath and the silent cry of the suffocating air in the room. </p><p>Baekhyun ended up collapsing into Jongdae’s arms and cried until there were no more tears to shed. On his 20th birthday, the popular, confident boy finally understood how it felt to be heart-broken, a lesson taught in a hard way by the first and only one he had ever loved. </p><p><em>I love you.</em> Three unspoken words, they would probably remain unspoken for the rest of his life. </p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun didn’t return to his dormitory the next day, nor the day after, nor the week after. He stayed in Jongdae’s room for two weeks, busy with his remaining finals. He could barely sleep at night. Although he was cuddling with Jongdae most of the time, it just felt different. He missed the familiar warmth of Sehun, the strong arms who embraced him and made him feel safe, the scent that calmed him and helped him fall asleep. Baekhyun didn’t feel like himself at all, it seemed part of himself was lost. He wondered how he managed to pass all courses miraculously. </p><p>Sehun was worried about Baekhyun, he texted and called Baekhyun several times a day, but all were ignored. He knew Baekhyun was staying with Jongdae, but Jongdae wasn’t answering his phone call neither. He was helpless, he didn’t know what to do, he didn’t know who to ask neither. </p><p>Two weeks after Baekhyun’s birthday, before being able to get hold of Baekhyun, Sehun was already on the train back to his hometown to spend his summer vacation with his family. He was determined that he had to sort this out once he was back. However, Sehun didn’t know, Baekhyun made a decision on the same day, that he would move out from their dormitory.</p><p>Baekhyun spent one whole day packing all his stuffs. When he was almost done with packing, he noticed the scrapbook, his birthday present, was still placed on the dining table where it was left two weeks ago. He wanted to leave it there and go, but he couldn’t. He touched the surface of the scrapbook gently, then opened it and looked at the photos taken by Sehun. Their memories. </p><p><em>I’m sorry, the remaining empty half will never be filled... I ruined it, I ruined us.</em> Baekhyun had been holding his tears for two weeks, but now he couldn’t do it any longer. He burst into tears, crying his heart out. </p><p>Flipping through the pages, he saw one of the photo where they were playing with snow, both had wide smile on their face. Baekhyun’s heart sank, he closed the album and put it inside the last unsealed box. </p><p>He looked around their dormitory again, a place filling with memories of Sehun and him, a place full of laughters, a place that felt like home. <em>It’s over, it’s time to go.</em></p><p>A young adult like him didn’t know how to handle this failure. Both his heart and ego were badly wounded, so he decided to back off, he decided to give in. To avoid further damage to his ruined soul, he decided to detach himself from Sehun, and from everything that could possibly remind him of his first love.</p><p>✧<br/>
Sehun returned to his dormitory one week before the start of his his final year only to find that the other half of his room was emptied. Baekhyun, and everything of him, were all gone. He couldn’t believe his eyes, he looked around again and again to confirm he wasn’t hallucinating, Baekhyun was really gone. </p><p>His best friend left him, without a word, not even a goodbye.</p><p>Baekhyun was still not responding to his messages, he tried to contact Jongdae but as expected, he received no response. <em>They both have probably blocked me,</em> Sehun thought. </p><p>Final year was always stressful, tonnes of deadlines, final year projects, presentations and essays... one step closer to graduation and liberation also meant one step closer to adulthood and reality. Sehun knew from Jongin (after paying for a nice meal at an Italian restaurant) that Baekhyun was doing internship at a publishing company this semester and wouldn’t be seen around campus. He was still hoping that his best friend would return to their dormitory upon completion of his internship.</p><p>But he was wrong, Baekhyun never came back.</p><p>It was almost seven months after Baekhyun’s birthday that Sehun finally saw him in campus. He was walking with two guys, whom Sehun didn’t know. <em>So he has made new friends and they seem to get along pretty well, he is smiling, too.</em> Sehun wondered if Baekhyun was doing fine, if he was happy, even without him.</p><p>Baekhyun noticed Sehun was staring at him, their gaze met for a second before Baekhyun turned his face back to the one next to him. He just pretended Sehun wasn’t there, he completely ignored Sehun’s existence. </p><p><em>Looks like he no longer needs me in his life.</em> Sehun shook his head and smiled bitterly, he didn’t realise that his heart ached when this thought came into his mind.</p><p>It didn’t seem so, but all of this did affect Sehun. As an introvert and a person who didn’t trust people easily, losing the only close friend hit him hard. He didn’t manage to explain himself well that night, he just watched Baekhyun getting hurt, cried and left. Months later, he felt like he already lost the chance to explain himself, he had screwed everything up. <em>I ruined it, I ruined us.</em></p><p>The last time they met each other in campus was at graduation ceremony. Baekhyun was talking to Jongdae, both holding flowers and graduation doll. Like the time they met a few months ago, he noticed Sehun staring at him from afar. He looked at Sehun with an expressionless face for a couple of seconds, then he lowered his head and sighed.</p><p>“Are you sure you don’t want to go and congratulate him, or at least say goodbye properly?” Jongdae asked, he didn’t want Baekhyun to regret in future.</p><p>“Dae, we haven’t spoken with each other for almost a year. It doesn’t really matter, not anymore.” Baekhyun tried to act calm, but Jongdae knew he was really upset, unfortunately there was not much he could do.</p><p>They headed towards the entrance, they were steps away from officially graduating from university. They walked pass the gate and looked back at the campus one last time, the place where they spent four wonderful years at. They were about to welcome a brand new stage of their lives, leaving all their impulse, immaturity and naiveness behind.</p><p>✧<br/>
It took years to build a relationship, but it only took moments for it to fall apart. It only took seconds to decide which path to take, but it took years to figure out where it would lead you to. </p><p>They chose to evade the issue, they turned their heads away in opposite directions. They chose to deal with their problem in the most passive way, they walked away from it, in silence.</p><p>And eventually, <em>they drifted apart.</em></p><p>✧<br/>
<em>툭하면 파고드는 후회들 속<br/>
Inside the regrets that dig into me<br/>
급히 밟는 Brake 더 가면 위험해<br/>
I quickly step on the brake, it’s dangerous to go any further<br/>
I know yeah 다른 곳으로<br/>
I know yeah, I turn my gaze<br/>
시선을 돌려 난 맘을 다잡지<br/>
Somewhere else and brace myself</em></p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em></em>
</p><p>
  <em>시간마다 날 더 다그치고<br/>
As time passes, I push myself further<br/>
보고 싶은 마음 접어두고<br/>
I get rid of my feelings of missing you<br/>
언제나 올까 열어둔<br/>
Leaving the door open so you can come back any time<br/>
이 방을 채워 줄 널 기다리는 중<br/>
I wait for you to fill this room</em>
</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Helloooo I can’t believe I’m posting the saddest part of the story on such a nice weekend hahaa. So the “different expectation”, “wrong gesture” and “unspoken words” are revealed - you now understand why Baek said “why you have to turn away from me even in a dream” in last chapter :D </p><p>Just got sth to say, some may think it didn’t seem a huge issue that would cause people to drift apart but I have slightly different thought. If you see things from their angles (their ages and personalities), you may understand why they reacted like this, in my eyes none of them were really “wrong”. It was just both of them were hurt, and neither of them handled it in the best way. </p><p>You probably will feel bad for Baek for now, let’s see if you still hold the same opinion after the last chapter. I’m curious about your comment on this, tysm for reading :)</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
<a name="section0007"><h2>7. Butterfly Effect 04.</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>✧<br/>
<em>어두운 밤 희미했던 빛<br/>
The faint light on a dark night<br/>
나에게 소중한 의미<br/>
Has a precious meaning to me<br/>
어지러운 내 맘의 불씨 Who?<br/>
The dizzying embers of my heart, who?</em></p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun was grateful that his schedule was packed the following week, he needed to work on an article with Jaehyun urgently, and it spared him no time to overthink. Yet, when he was working in front of his laptop alone, he could hardly concentrate and made way more mistakes than usual.</p><p>“Our ice prince is so not himself these few days.” Joy said while washing her mug in the pantry.</p><p>“Right, you know his mobile vibrated for two whole minutes this morning and he didn’t even realise it.” Mark, who was sitting opposite to Baekhyun, also found him acting weird.</p><p>“I have been working with him on this article since beginning of the week, and he has sent me the wrong draft version twice. It’s so, unlike him.” Jaehyun agreed, he had worked with Baekhyun many times and Baekhyun never made such mistake before, not to say making it twice.</p><p>“Something is definitely off with him, maybe... something happened between him and Sehun after the annual party.” Wendy smirked, she was always sensitive towards this sort of thing. “We’ll see.”</p><p>Baekhyun managed to finalise the article before end of the working week. He turned off his laptop and decided to call it a day. His mobile vibrated, there was a message from Sehun.</p><p>
  <em>I’m back, can we talk tomorrow?</em>
</p><p><em>Okay.</em> It took Baekhyun almost five minutes and all of his courage to type these four letters.</p><p>
  <em>Great, I will pick you up at your place at five. See you and have a good rest tonight.</em>
</p><p>Baekhyun wondered if he could really have a good rest.</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun was right, he barely had any sleep that night. He spent the entire night remembering what happened between Sehun and him from the very beginning when they met each other in high school. He never thought he could love a person for so long, he was not even 17 when he met Sehun, he realised that he was in love with his best friend before he turned 20, now he was fast approaching his thirties. </p><p>They were so young when those things happened, he wasn’t sure if he would react the same way now. Instead of completely ignoring Sehun, he might have given him a chance to explain, at least. Then, he might not need to wait almost a decade to hear the other side of the story, to have the <em>closure</em> he had been looking for.</p><p>He put on his usual outfits, a white shirt with tight blue jeans. He styled his hair and checked his appearance. He didn’t realise he spent extra time getting ready before going out than usual.</p><p>His mobile vibrated at 4:55pm. <em>I arrived, waiting for you downstairs.</em> </p><p>Baekhyun took his bag and went downstairs. Sehun was waiting for him across the road, he smiled when he saw Baekhyun walking towards him.</p><p>“Where are we going?” Baekhyun asked when Sehun started driving.</p><p>“You’ll know soon.” Sehun smirked. They didn’t talk much on the way, the only sound filing the space was the indie music from Sehun’s favourite playlist.</p><p>It took quite some time before they arrived at the destination, <em>Jeongseojin.</em></p><p>“Remember this place?” Sehun asked.</p><p>“... your portfolio.” Of course Baekhyun remembered. It was the place where Sehun took the sunset pictures for his portfolio. </p><p>“I said I will bring you here one day, I didn’t manage to do so back then so... I want to keep my promise now. Let’s go.” Sehun took his bag and left the car, he walked along the square and found a spot to put his mat down.</p><p>“Here is the spot where I took the photos. I checked earlier, the sun will set in about half an hour’s time.” Baekhyun sat next to Sehun, looking at the sky that had been tinted red by the glowing sun.</p><p>Baekhyun was mesmerised by the scenery. Then he recalled, he used to be a nature lover, someone who always wanted to witness the marvellous views from different corners of the world with his own eyes. He didn’t know since when he had lost the passion in exploring the unknown and the curiosity towards life.</p><p>Sehun placed a few boxes of sushi on the mat and gave Baekhyun a pair of chopsticks, signalling Baekhyun to eat. Baekhyun nodded and put a salmon sushi into his mouth. They remained silent while watching the sun gradually set. Sehun took his camera out and photographed this gorgeous view. The view looked different, it was more spectacular when Baekhyun was here with him. The burning red was soon engulfed by darkness, stars started sparkling across the vast sky as the night deepened. </p><p>“Baekhyun, I’m sorry.” Sehun finally broke the long and peaceful silence. Baekhyun didn’t expect the first thing that came from Sehun’s mouth would be an apology. </p><p><em>So that’s it, I’m sorry, everything’s over, file closed.</em> Baekhyun sighed, followed by a bitter laugh.</p><p>“Sehun-ah,” Baekhyun turned his head facing Sehun, his heart ached, again. “It has been almost a decade. You don’t have to apologise... <em>for not loving me.</em>” As calm as it sounded, Baekhyun was having a hard time controlling his emotion. “It... it doesn’t matter anymore.” </p><p>“It does.” Sehun interrupted, he took a deep breath before continuing. “It does matter, because <em>I do love you.</em>” Baekhyun’s watery eyes widened, startled by Sehun’s words. Without waiting for any response, Sehun scooted closer and wrapped his arms around Baekhyun, pulling him into his embrace. “And I apologise, for taking so long to realise <em>I’ve loved you all the way.</em>”</p><p>Sehun fixed his gaze on Baekhyun, who was tilting his head up and looking at him. “You know, you were the only close friend I had back in school days. I was slow to warm up to people, I never felt at ease when I was with people other than you. Before you... confessed, I never considered the relationship between us could be something else, just like what I’ve said that night.” Looking at Baekhyun fondly, Sehun gently caressed his cheek.</p><p>“I told you I wasn’t into guys, that was something impulsive that came out from my mouth. I was just... shocked and perplexed. Yet, before I got a chance to explain myself, you vanished from my life completely, all of a sudden. I went back to our dormitory after the summer break and realised you were gone without a word. I sent you hundreds of message but all were unanswered. You were avoiding me by all means, I knew it, but I was clueless how to handle this. I wasn’t lying when I said I was not good in dealing with stuffs like this. It was driving me crazy and at one point in time, I was so frustrated and I just gave up trying.” Sehun sighed, remembering those days still made his heart sink. </p><p>“I... I have no idea how to handle the heartbreak neither...” Baekhyun muttered in a  gloomy voice. “It hurt so bad that I decided to detach myself from anything that could remind me of you. The final year was a torture, I worked and studied days and nights just to refrain myself from thinking about you. I never realised that living by myself could be so lonely, that my bed could be so cold without you, that it was never a good morning without the breakfast you made... Maybe... I should have given you a chance but... I don’t know, my ego just didn’t let me.” He bit his lips, tried not to let his tears fall.</p><p>“You were not the only one feeling lonely, Baek. Our dormitory was so empty without you, I felt empty, too. Ever since you left, I didn’t have mood to make breakfast anymore, I just settled with a piece of toast and a cup of expresso everyday, life was so... so different without you. Yet, when I saw you again in campus, smiling happily with your new friends, I thought I was the only one missing our old time...” Sehun shook his head and let out another sigh before he continued. “I still remember the last time I saw you at graduation ceremony. I looked at you for one whole minute, but you just stayed there, and then you left. To me, that was the signal that <em>you want me out of your life.</em>”</p><p>“I was standing there all the time, waiting for you to just come and say anything before I leave, but you didn’t. Then I told myself, <em>that’s it, it’s really over between us, we don’t even bother to say goodbye.</em> You don’t know how hard I cried the moment I left the campus and vanished from your sight.” Baekhyun murmured, silent tears dropping from his pretty eyes. </p><p>They were just one step apart back then, yet, their own pessimistic interpretations caused them to drift apart. It took years for their paths to converge, to finally have a chance to close this gap and hopefully fix everything.</p><p>“I was a coward, I know. When I was serving in the military, I kept remembering the words you said, <em>‘understand your feelings and act accordingly’.</em> I still wasn’t sure what it meant, until I met Kyungsoo one year after I discharged.” Baekhyun’s body became tense when he heard of this name, the reason that his heart was broken another time.</p><p>“And you <em>fell in love</em> with him.” Baekhyun said faintly, feeling disheartened.</p><p>“I <em>thought</em> I was. I met a couple of new friends when I started building my career, I was making an effort to change. One of them introduced Kyungsoo to me. He was shy, quiet but kind-hearted. Our personalities were similar so we got along well. After all these lonely years, I finally found someone whom I was comfortable with. That was the time when confusion came. We were meeting each other often and kept getting closer and closer. One day he suggested we should try dating, I agreed. I thought, if someone was able to make me open up and feel at ease with, perhaps it was worth trying. That was also the moment I realised, <em>gender didn’t really matter, it wasn’t a determining factor at all.</em>” Sehun paused for a while and looked at Baekhyun, whose face was all covered with tears. Baekhyun looked so vulnerable, his terribly hurt expression reminded Sehun of that night.</p><p>“Three months after we started dating, we attended Junmyeon hyung’s engagement party, and that was when I finally saw you again. I didn’t expect you there since they told me you weren’t in contact with most of them except Jongdae. I was shocked, and I felt guilty when I saw you bursting into tears. I still remember your heart-broken face and furious glare, even up till now.” Sehun felt Baekhyun’s breath quickened and soon he heard Baekhyun’s sob again, he immediately tightened his grip and stroked Baekhyun’s back gently.</p><p>“Do you know how much it hurt... I spent years after graduation to accept the fact that you can’t return my love, you don’t see me that way because <em>you are not into guys</em>, that my sudden confession startled you and screwed everything up. Then, out of nowhere, I saw you holding a guy’s hand, smiling and introducing him as <em>your boyfriend</em>... which basically implies <em>you are just not into me</em>... It hurt even more than what happened on my birthday, it really hit me hard.” Baekhyun was gasping for breath, face full of tears.</p><p>“I know, Baekkie, I know. I should have apologised, I’m so sorry that I’ve messed that up the second time, but trust me, your face never left my mind since that night. Even... when I was on a date with Kyungsoo, I still thought about you. I thought about you everyday. For the first time over the years, I took out all our photos and flipped through those albums one by one. Looking at your cheerful smile almost became my daily habit. I never knew I miss you that much until that moment, but once I realised my feelings, I couldn’t stop it, I couldn’t stop missing you. I was paying my price by missing you, regretting and suffering in silence <em>day after day.</em> I deserve all of it, but it wasn’t easy for me, neither.” Sehun paused for a second, he had to hold his tears back, he couldn’t cry. He wiped the tears away from Baekhyun’s face and placed a quick peck on Baekhyun’s forehead, Baekhyun didn’t stop him.</p><p>“Then why don’t... why don’t you come back... don’t you think I deserve an explanation?” Taking a deep breath, Baekhyun tried to calm himself down.</p><p>“Jongin told me you got a boyfriend. I thought... you were starting your new life, I wasn’t sure if I should bring all the mess up again... also, I was too ashamed to seek your forgiveness. Yet, it was getting harder and harder for me to keep you out of my mind... It became alarming when I was imagining how your lips would feel when Kyungsoo and I kissed, I was thinking about that night... what if I didn’t turn my head away, what if I let you kiss me, what if I returned your kiss... I finally realised something was wrong, <em>I thought about you more often than I thought about my boyfriend.</em>” Sehun paused and observed Baekhyun’s reaction, but Baekhyun gave him no response. </p><p>“It took me long enough to figure out my heart didn’t react the same way when I was with you and with him. Seeing Kyungsoo smile made me happy, but my heart never felt like melting, the way I felt when you smiled at me. We often cooked and ate together, he was an amazing cook too, but I didn’t feel the contentment I felt when I saw your satisfied expression after eating the breakfast or dinner I made. So I told Kyungsoo everything, everything about you. I was really a jerk, I hurt another innocent person, I deserved to be beaten hard but he just reacted calmly and said you were right, that I should indeed <em>‘understand my feelings and act accordingly’</em>. We took a step backward and remained friends...” Baekhyun’s face was unreadable, he was looking at the floor, processing what Sehun just said.</p><p>“You really are... a jerk.” Baekhyun said with a sneer after a while. </p><p>“... It’s all my fault.” Sehun took Baekhyun’s hand, put it on his thigh, then he put his hand on top of Baekhyun’s. “You can hit me if you want to.” </p><p>“Finish what you have to say first, I’ll hit you in one go.” Baekhyun withdrew his hand from Sehun’s and said.</p><p>“I put my relationship aside since then and focused solely on work. I started receiving invitations to participate in overseas projects, so I began travelling, spending most of my time overseas. Just as what you once said - leaving footprints on every single continent, exploring and meeting new people, learning from them. These few years opened my eyes, changed my mindset and attitude, transformed me to a completely different person.” </p><p>“So you basically lived the live I’ve always wanted to live...” Baekhyun smiled bitterly, “meanwhile I lost my passion throughout the years, settled with what used to be your ideal life - stable job, gradual career progression, routine and standard life. My adventurous self deteriorated into a dull, indifferent, unlovable <em>iceberg.</em>”</p><p>“You are not unlovable!” Sehun interrupted and grabbed Baekhyun’s hand immediately. “You are the most adorable person in this world.”</p><p>“What made you come back then?” Ignoring Sehun’s words, Baekhyun pulled his hand back and asked coldly.</p><p>“<em>You.</em>” Sehun stared at Baekhyun with his eyes full of fondness. He held Baekhyun’s hand again and this time, he intertwined it with his own hand. “That was an accident actually. I was on vacation in Seoul, I went for a drink on my own and saw someone familiar sitting inside the bar, also drinking alone. He noticed me, walked towards me immediately and guess what... <em>he punched me on my face.</em>”</p><p>“Jongdae was little bit tipsy, he yelled at me and cursed for three whole minutes. After he calmed down, he started talking about you. He blamed me for hurting you and breaking your heart twice, thereafter you were never able to get into any relationship seriously and none of your relationship lasted over a couple of months... he said if it goes on like that you will end up living in your apartment, growing old and die alone.” </p><p>“<em>Fuck...</em> Kim Jongdae.” Baekhyun’s face suddenly turned from sad to furious, he pouted while cursing. “Bastard.”</p><p>“If it wasn’t because of Jongdae, I wouldn’t know you still have feelings towards me and... I still stand a chance.” Sehun couldn’t help himself but petted Baekhyun’s cheek again, he looked adorable when he was pouting. “So I made use of all of my network to get into your company, and that’s how we end up here now.”</p><p>Sehun’s words contained so much information that Baekhyun found it hard to comprehend in such a short time. He never expected he would get that confession after almost a decade. He never expected the person who broke his heart twice was actually in love with him all the way.</p><p>“You asked me to understand my feelings and act accordingly, right? If you give me one more chance, I’ll show you I understand and know what to do now. I won’t hurt you anymore.” Sehun fixed his gaze on Baekhyun, holding Baekhyun’s hands firmly with both of his hands, “Baekkie, <em>I love you</em>.”</p><p>Baekhyun remained silent, his brain was empty. </p><p>“You don’t have to respond right now, I know it takes time... but I do have one more thing to confess. Do you remember what happened at your apartment the night when you were drunk?” Baekhyun blinked his eyes, obviously didn’t remember anything.</p><p>“When we were lying on your bed, you wanted to kiss me. I turned my head away, and you cried like a baby.” Sehun chuckled. “I turned my head away, not because I don’t want to kiss you.” He whispered into Baekhyun’s ear, at the same time pulling him close.</p><p>“But because <em>I want to kiss you when you are sober.</em>” He first placed a gentle kiss on Baekhyun’s cheek, then he turned Baekhyun’s face, leaned towards him and closed the gap between the two. Their lips touched before Baekhyun was able to process what was happening.</p><p>Baekhyun’s lips were so soft, Sehun couldn’t help but to savour every bit of it. He had one hand on Baekhyun’s waist and the other on his nape. He stroked Baekhyun’s nape slowly while gradually deepening the kiss. Their lips occasionally parted for a short while before connecting again, each reconnection made the kiss more urgent. Sehun’s tongue found his way into Baekhyun’s mouth, invading it in an aggressive way. Ten years of longing, all the mixed emotions made this kiss more precious than anything else. It was beyond wonderful, none of them wanted it to stop. They kept kissing and caressing each other, only stopped when Baekhyun was almost out of breath. </p><p>“Hmmm Baekkie, you are such a good kisser.” Sehun placed another soft kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, his arms still wrapping around Baekhyun’s waist.</p><p>“Shut up.” Baekhyun responded, slightly embarrassed. </p><p>“And you look extra cute when you are shy.” Without saying anything, Sehun approached Baekhyun and stole another kiss from him.</p><p>Baekhyun turned his head away and whined, “stop it!”</p><p>“Alright, I’ll stop for now.” Sehun was amused by Baekhyun’s reaction. “It’s getting late already, shall we go back?” Baekhyun nodded and they got onto Sehun’s car, returning to Baekhyun’s apartment.</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun’s heart was pounding at an incredibly high frequency when both of them stood at the front door of his apartment, not wanting the day to end. </p><p>“Baekkie, I guess... um... Good night then...?” Sehun deliberately muttered word by word, hinting that he didn’t want to leave.</p><p>“... Good night.” Baekhyun didn’t want Sehun to go neither, but he said nothing.</p><p>They kept staring at each other for a while, Sehun stepped closer to Baekhyun and whispered, “can I kiss you one more time?”</p><p>Without giving Baekhyun time to respond, Sehun pressed a soft kiss on Baekhyun’s lips, wrapping his arms around Baekhyun. The short gentle peck soon turned into another long passionate kiss, letting out all the affection that had been piling up in each other’s heart for so long. </p><p>Sehun started stroking Baekhyun’s back tenderly, the sensual touch made Baekhyun completely defenceless. Baekhyun just passively let Sehun set the pace, closing his eyes, melting in Sehun’s burning infatuation. Sehun caressed Baekhyun’s cheeks with both hands before finally breaking the kiss, both breathing hard after the kiss that lasted for a long while.</p><p>“Hmm... I don’t want to go, Baekkie.” Sehun pressed another kiss on Baekhyun’s lips, “can I stay and cuddle with you?” Baekhyun, completely overwhelmed, couldn’t resist Sehun’s husky voice, his fierce gaze, his strong arms. Without saying anything, Baekhyun just nodded his head and let Sehun in.</p><p>The two lay on Baekhyun’s bed, both of their hearts pounding like racing horse. Couldn’t withstand the awkwardness, Baekhyun turned his body and had his back facing Sehun. Sehun chuckled, knowing that Baekhyun was probably shy again. He followed Baekhyun and turned in the same direction, then he scooted closer and hugged Baekhyun tightly from behind. </p><p>“What... are you doing...” Baekhyun whined, but his voice weakened word after word.</p><p>“I thought you’ve given me permission to cuddle with you, no?” Sehun whispered into Baekhyun’s ear, he placed a few pecks on Baekhyun’s earlobe, making the smaller whimper softly. “You better fall asleep soon, I don’t know for how long can I behave myself.”</p><p>“Shut up.” Baekhyun murmured, he wondered how could he sleep with his heart thumping like this.</p><p>“Good night, I love you.” Sehun attacked Baekhyun again with another sweet confession.</p><p>“... Good night.” Baekhyun just closed his eyes and forced himself not to think about the one back hugging him right now. He eventually fell asleep with the familiar warmth radiating from Sehun’s body, which he had been missing all the time.</p><p>✧<br/>
Baekhyun yawned and rubbed his eyes, he couldn’t remember when was the last time he slept so comfortably. When he was completely awake after a minute, he realised Sehun was looking at him with the same loving expression. Then he felt it again, the tension in the stare, the sparkles in their eyes. </p><p>“Good afternoon, Baekkie. You slept so well, it’s almost 1pm already.” Sehun petted Baekhyun’s messy hair.</p><p>“When did you get up?” </p><p>“About one and a half hour ago.”</p><p>“Then... why don’t you wake me up...?” Baekhyun blinked his eyes and yawned again.</p><p>“I guess... I just want to look at your cute sleeping face a little bit longer.” Baekhyun’s cheeks were rosy and his hair was still messy, Sehun couldn’t help but to grab Baekhyun’s waist and started peppering his face with kisses.</p><p>“Wait... Sehun...” Baekhyun stopped Sehun from kissing him nonstop. “That’s... too much.”</p><p>Sehun paused, he realised showing too much affection all of a sudden would probably make Baekhyun uncomfortable.</p><p>“I’m sorry, I couldn’t help it. I have wanted it for so long.” He said apologetically.</p><p>“I know, but it’s just...” Baekhyun hesitated and sighed, “I need some time.”</p><p>“I know. It won’t happen again.” Sehun pressed a quick kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, “the last one, I promise.”</p><p>Both of them were starving, Sehun prepared some food and they had lunch together. It was, again, a quiet meal at the beginning. Initiating the conversation, Sehun asked Baekhyun about his work over the years, a topic which he knew Baekhyun was comfortable to talk about. Baekhyun was so into writing, he enjoyed talking about it, the conversation went on even after they finished their meal. </p><p>Then Baekhyun asked Sehun about his overseas adventure. Sehun showed him pictures of different places, telling him stories happened all around the world. Baekhyun realised that he seldom travelled these years, especially after the drastic change in his personality and lifestyle. He surely had missed a lot. </p><p>“There are still a lot of places I want to go, but I would very much like to have you by my side, checking the items on my to-go list together.” Sehun wanted to help Baekhyun find his old self back, he wanted to continue his adventure with Baekhyun, he wanted to spend his life with him. </p><p>“Baekkie, <em>I want you to be in my future, I really love you.</em>”</p><p>Baekhyun’s eyes became watery, he suddenly recalled the night at Jeju Island, when he wondered if he would be part of Sehun’s future. </p><p>Years later, after all the ups and downs, after all the tears and heartbreak, he finally got the answer he was longing for.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>꿈을 꾸듯 내게 날아든<br/>
You flew to me like out of a dream<br/>
나를 바꿔 줄 유일한 사람 You!<br/>
The only one who could change me, you!<br/>
지쳐있던 맘을 녹이고 두 팔로 날 감싸고<br/>
You melt my exhausted heart and take me in your arms<br/>
포근한 품 속 그 온기에 휩싸여<br/>
and I’m taken away in the warmth of your embrace</em></p><p>Baekhyun knew it was gonna take some time, there was no magic spell to help him return to his old self immediately, but he was determined that he was going to be brave one more time, for the sake of himself, for the sake of the one he loved, the one who loved him.</p><p>They returned to office the next Monday as if nothing happened. Sehun walked towards Baekhyun’s work station with a <em>Gilgeori Toast (Korean street toast)</em> and a bottle of soya milk on his hands.</p><p>“I got this on my way back, you have to eat it quickly when the toast is still hot.” </p><p>“... Thanks.” Baekhyun was replying his emails, he didn’t even look at the food. He noticed Sehun was still standing next to him, with no intention in leaving. He raised his head and stared at Sehun. “What?”</p><p>“It’s still early, I don’t want to start working yet. Also, I need to make sure you are eating properly.” Sehun smiled, pointing at the toast.</p><p>“... Alright.” Baekhyun obeyed and started eating his breakfast. In fact, he felt warm-hearted with what Sehun was doing, taking care of him in the simplest way.</p><p>“You don’t like it?” Sehun asked when he saw Baekhyun stopped eating.</p><p>“... I’m full.” Baekhyun pouted while looking at the toast, he really <em>really</em> hated wasting food, but he couldn’t eat too much due to his stomach problem.</p><p>As if Sehun could read Baekhyun’s mind, he bent his upper body down, gradually approached Baekhyun, took his hand that was holding the food and ate the remaining toast in one bite. The proximity almost made Baekhyun jump, his heart was racing like crazy again.</p><p>“Good morning!” The two ladies entered the office at the perfect timing, Baekhyun turned his head away immediately. “Oh, are we disturbing you guys?” Wendy smirked and looked at the duo with a mischievous expression.</p><p>“I... needa throw this away.” Baekhyun made an excuse and left the office, ignoring the two girls and Sehun.</p><p>“Oh my God, I can’t believe it. I’m witnessing our ice prince getting shy with my own eyes.” Wendy teased in an exaggerated tone, looking at Sehun.</p><p>“So... are you guys... official now?” Joy asked.</p><p>“I wish we are, but... not so soon. There’s still a long way to go.” Sehun smiled, he was sure he had enough patience to melt the ice prince’s heart.</p><p><em>Don’t be shy, I’m not gonna kiss you in office. (smirk emoji)</em> Sehun texted Baekhyun after he returned to his desk.</p><p><em>Shut up!!!</em> Sehun could imagine Baekhyun whining next to him with his cute voice and angry look.</p><p>
  <em>Puppy is getting angry at me...? Should I come and comfort you with a kiss? (Kiss emoji)</em>
</p><p>10 seconds later, Sehun heard the footsteps of the angry puppy. “OH SEHUN!!!” Everyone was looking at Baekhyun, it was the first time they saw Baekhyun yelling in office with such an annoyed expression.</p><p>Sehun stood up, approached Baekhyun and whispered, “Baekkie, are you so desperate for a kiss that you can’t wait and have to come to me?” Sehun gave him a teasing smirk.</p><p>Baekhyun hit Sehun’s arm, making him groan in pain. “I told you I will hit you real hard if you call me like that.”</p><p>Realising the entire office was staring at them, eyes widened, Baekhyun quickly apologised and went back to his seat. He was gonna have a tough time handling his heart and emotions, a task that was more challenging than meeting any tight deadlines.</p><p>✧<br/>
Things were changing, slowly, bit by bit. Sehun tried not to rush things or to be too aggressive, but he made sure he teased Baekhyun from time to time and made use of every opportunity to say cheesy things and initiate physical contact. He could sense that Baekhyun was letting his guard down gradually. Baekhyun’s face was not as cold as before, Sehun even caught him occasionally lifting the corner of his mouth, he spoke more and was more engaged in conversations, everything was pointing towards a positive direction.</p><p>Two of them were standing inside a silent box, discussing the details of their next article. Baekhyun was showing his plan on his laptop, Sehun stepped closer to him in order to look at his monitor, his face almost touching Baekhyun’s. Startled by Sehun suddenly approaching, Baekhyun tried to back away but Sehun stopped him by putting one of his hand on his waist, the proximity made Baekhyun’s heart flutter.</p><p>“Oh Sehun! We are in office!” Baekhyun protested and shoved Sehun’s hand away from his waist.</p><p>“If you agree to go on a date with me this Friday night, I’ll let you work in peace these couple of days.” Sehun smirked and spoke softly into Baekhyun’s ear.</p><p>“Annoying brat.” Baekhyun stepped away and glared at Sehun, “… only if you can find an interesting movie to watch.” He added after a few seconds.</p><p>They then focused back on work and it was soon lunchtime, Wendy knocked their door and asked if the duo would like to join them for lunch at a ramen place nearby, she expected Sehun to be the only one joining, as usual.</p><p>“Give us a second, we are coming.” Sehun answered, earning another murderous glare from Baekhyun. He chuckled and added, “you love ramen, just come with us this time.”</p><p>The other three were already seated when they arrived, all of them rubbed their eyes simultaneously to make sure they weren’t seeing illusion, that Baekhyun was really joining them.</p><p>“Baekhyun oppa, here’s the menu.” Joy was really thrilled, it was the first time she had lunch with Baekhyun since she joined the company two years ago.</p><p>Baekhyun smiled politely, took the menu and ordered his lunch. The group was talking about work-related stuffs before they arrived, Jaehyun repeated his idea for an article, he said he was not too confident if that would work.</p><p>“I think that’s a good idea.” Baekhyun commented after listening to Jaehyun’s explanation.</p><p>“Do you really think so?” Jaehyun responded, little bit too loud, but he couldn’t hide his excitement of being acknowledged by his senior.</p><p>“Hmm yah, some parts may need fine-tuning, but overall speaking it’s really good. I can talk to Leeteuk about this, if you want me to.”</p><p>“That would be great, thank you, <em>hyung!</em>”</p><p>The food arrived and they spent the rest of the lunch chitchatting about random stuffs. Although Baekhyun didn’t talk much, the group thought it was already a great step to get close with their senior.</p><p>“Guys, do you want coffee? My treat.” Sehun suggested to treat all of them coffee, Baekhyun looked at him with a questionable look.</p><p>“… <em>Brat,</em> why are you treating my team coffee?” Baekhyun then turned to his team, “go get what you want, I’ll pay.”</p><p>“Did you hear that? Baekhyun oppa called Sehun brat, that’s so cute.” Joy whispered to Wendy when they were queuing up.</p><p>“He really sounds different now, Sehun melts our ice prince with his passionate love. I’m really curious to see when they will become official.” Wendy knew that would just be a matter of time.</p><p>“Maybe it’s time to continue with our KRW150,000 bet?” Mark joked, all of them burst into laughter.</p><p>✧<br/>
“Where are we going?” Baekhyun asked when he sat next to Sehun in his car, today was supposed to be their <em>date.</em></p><p>“You’ll know soon.” 20 minutes later, they arrived at Sehun’s apartment.</p><p>“Why are you bringing me to your apartment?”</p><p>“You don’t like crowds, but the cinema is gonna be very full tonight… I guess it’s better to watch movie at home. I have already picked one, you’ll like it.” Sehun replied with a confident smile.</p><p>After entering the apartment, Sehun asked Baekhyun to just wait in the living room. He then rushed into the kitchen and started preparing the dinner. Baekhyun soon got bored sitting there alone, so he went to the kitchen, stood at the entrance and watched Sehun cook. Sehun noticed him and smiled gently.</p><p>“Remember once you said you will find someone who is good at cooking, so you don’t have to bother about that? I assure you, you don’t have to.” Sehun put the lid on the pot and walked towards Baekhyun.</p><p>“Don’t make fun of me! I’m well-trained enough to survive on my own now.”</p><p>“Then next time it’ll be your turn to cook for me, I’ll look forward to it.” Sehun chuckled, at the same time wrapping his arms around Baekhyun.</p><p>“Why are you so clingy now? It doesn’t seem like you at all…”</p><p>“I have no choice. You are not hugging nor cuddling with me anymore, so I need to make my move.” Sehun tightened his hug and caged Baekhyun completely inside his embrace.</p><p> “You are so beautiful.” He stared at Baekhyun’s eyes, after all the years, he finally saw the sparkles in his pretty eyes again. He couldn’t help but to press his lips against Baekhyun’s. Baekhyun was passive at the beginning but the constant touch of Sehun’s tongue made his body hot. He felt like he was burning when he started to react to Sehun’s passionate kiss, making Sehun even more aggressive. They held each other tight and kissed intensely, both enjoying the sensual make out.</p><p>They kept kissing until they smelt something wrong in the kitchen. <em>Ooops,</em> their dinner was in danger.</p><p>“Look what you’ve done to me, it is the first time in my life that I burnt my pasta.” Sehun sighed while checking if the pasta was still edible.</p><p>“<em>Hahahaaa brat,</em> no one asked you to attack me like that, you brought it on yourself.” Baekhyun couldn’t stop but laughed at Sehun’s annoyed expression. </p><p>Sehun suddenly put down his pot and turned around. ”Baekkie, are you... <em>laughing?</em> Seriously?” Baekhyun looked at the pasta that was half charred, and burst into laughter again.</p><p>“Oh my... it took me months trying to make you happy and you end up laughing like this <em>just because I burnt my pasta.</em> I should have brought you here and burnt the whole kitchen in front of you.” Sehun rolled his eyes but eventually, he joined Baekhyun and laughed too. “Should I cook something else?” </p><p>“Ummm, it doesn’t look that bad. Let’s just throw away the burnt ones and eat the rest, don’t waste food.” </p><p>“Okay, wait for me outside, I’ll finish the rest.” </p><p>20 minutes later, Sehun brought the food out from the kitchen and placed them on the dining table. After removing the burnt part and adding some flavouring, the pasta still tasted good. Sehun also cooked salmon steak, knowing Baekhyun preferred fish over meat. He was right, Baekhyun finished the entire steak with a contented expression. </p><p>“How is it?” Sehun opened a bottle of <em>Burgundy</em> and poured into two wine glasses, he passed one to Baekhyun while asking for his comment.</p><p>“It is... delicious.” Baekhyun took the wine glass from Sehun and took a sip. “Thank you.”</p><p>“My pleasure. As said, as long as I’m here, you’ll never have to bother about cooking.” Delighted to hear Baekhyun’s compliment, Sehun started drinking his wine, proud and satisfied.</p><p>They took their wine glasses and sat on the couch, ready to start their movie night. Sehun chose to watch the infamous Korean black comedy thriller, <em>Parasite,</em> with Baekhyun. They were enjoying the movie in general, laughing along with the humorous lines and actions of the family. </p><p>However, things changed drastically towards the end. Baekhyun was startled by the bloody scene and buried his face in the curve of Sehun’s neck. Sehun turned around and saw Baekhyun looking completely terrified. He wrapped one arm around Baekhyun’s shoulder and took Baekhyun’s hand with his free hand.</p><p>“I’m here, don’t be scared.” Sehun placed a gentle kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead. Fortunately, the movie ended in a couple of minutes. Overall Baekhyun loved the movie and the underlying message that the director wanted to convey, but the last part was indeed a pain to watch for a timid person like him.</p><p>He was still leaning on Sehun’s shoulder even the movie was finished. It was too comfortable, he didn’t want to move. He thought he could sleep like this the entire night. </p><p>“Baekkie, are you tired? Go and take a bath first, we should sleep early tonight.”</p><p>Baekhyun was so sleepy and tipsy that he almost fell asleep in the bathroom. He dried his hair quickly, jumped onto Sehun’s bed and closed his eyes. By the time Sehun entered his bedroom, Baekhyun was already sleeping soundly. After taking a few moment to appreciate Baekhyun’s cute sleeping face, Sehun stole a kiss from him. Sehun knew he was gonna have a sweet dream since he was sleeping with the one he loved in his arms. </p><p>✧<br/>
It felt wonderful waking up besides the one you loved, had a nice breakfast, then went out for a date together. It started to become their routine, they had Friday movie night and sleepover with plenty of cuddling, the next day they would either visit exhibitions, go hiking or just spend an afternoon in a coffee shop. Sehun felt like he was making progress, he didn’t miss the brighter tone that Baekhyun spoke in, he noticed the more frequent small smile appearing on Baekhyun’s face, he felt encouraged when Baekhyun didn’t push him away whenever he wrapped his arms around his shoulder or waist. Baekhyun was still reacting in a subtle way, but the little change in attitude was enough to keep Sehun going.</p><p>Baekhyun was sitting at the bar table with Jongdae, having a late-night drink together, he was hesitating if he should tell him about Sehun. He gulped down his wine, slightly nervous.</p><p>“You have something to tell me, don’t you?” Jongdae smirked, he could guess what Baekhyun wanted to say, but decided to stay silent and let Baekhyun tell him himself.</p><p>“Umm… I… Sehun and I…” Baekhyun started narrating the whole story to Jongdae, they hadn’t been able to catch up since the last time he told Jongdae that Sehun was back. A relieved expression was seen on Jongdae’s face when Baekhyun described how Sehun changed completely throughout the years.</p><p>“Ohhh, that’s so cheesy, I can’t imagine him being so touchy and doing all these romantic stuffs.” Jongdae responded with his signature loud laugh, “so are you guys official now?”</p><p>Baekhyun shook his head, “I… kind of want to find my old self back first.”</p><p>“Then just take things slow, you guys have been missing each other for so long, I’m sure he won’t let you go so easily.” Jongdae gave Baekhyun a reassuring smile.</p><p>Suddenly, Baekhyun felt a grip on his waist followed by a gentle peck on the side of his forehead. He turned around and saw Sehun standing right behind him, looking at him lovingly.</p><p>“Why… what are you doing here?” Baekhyun asked, surprised to see Sehun here.</p><p>“It’s past mid-night and you are not home yet, I’m here to pick you up.” Sehun saw Baekhyun’s rosy cheeks and questioned, “did you drink a lot?”</p><p>“Just two glasses of red wine, hey, you can’t forbid me to drink.”</p><p>“You are free to drink as long as I’m here to take you home.” Sehun smiled.</p><p>“<em>Yaaaaa lovebirds,</em> that’s too much. I’m still sober.” Jongdae whined and teased the two, he smiled when he saw Baekhyun leaning backward on Sehun’s chest so naturally.</p><p>“Haha, my bad. Jongdae, I owe you a huge thank you for… that night. Your words, well, <em>your punch</em> too, did wake me up and push me to make a move. I can’t find the right words to express my gratitude.” Sehun finally had a chance to thank Jongdae for his <em>‘kind reminder’</em>.</p><p>“To be honest I can’t even remember what I said, but in any case, you only have to one thing to do - never let him down again.”</p><p>“You said I’m gonna live in my apartment, grow old and die alone.” Baekhyun glared at his friend.</p><p>“Oh… did I really say that? It does sound like something I would say though. Anyway, that’s not gonna happen now, and you should <em>thank me</em> for that.” Jongdae laughed.</p><p>“I still hate you, <em>brat.</em> Well, it’s late now, we should go.”</p><p>“I know you love me, not as much as you love <em>him</em> though.” Jongdae teased Baekhyun again and Baekhyun hit him immediately. “Let’s go, <em>lovebirds.</em>”</p><p>✧<br/>
The lovebirds were now sitting relaxedly on Sehun’s bed, Baekhyun, tipsy after drinking, leaned on Sehun’s shoulder while having his arms wrapped around Sehun’s waist.</p><p>“Did you have a good chat tonight?” Sehun said in a soft voice, lips touching Baekhyun’s hair while speaking.</p><p>“Yah, I sort of miss his loud voice when he is not around.” Baekhyun chuckled, he tilted his head up and their eyes met.</p><p>Both could feel the intense longing between their gaze, Sehun took the initiative and pressed his lips against Baekhyun’s. It soon evolved into an urgent kiss, Sehun’s sensual touch made Baekhyun hot and both were overwhelmed with desire. Sehun grabbed Baekhyun’s waist and pulled him over. Baekhyun was now sitting on top of Sehun, legs parted on either side of Sehun’s body, he couldn’t stop himself from rolling his hips back and forth while kissing Sehun. Feeling completely aroused by what Baekhyun was doing, Sehun slid his hands under Baekhyun’s shirt and started caressing every inch of his delicate skin, slowly yet sensually.</p><p>“<em>Sehunie</em>… ahhhh…” Still rolling his hips, Baekhyun let out a couple of moans that made Sehun growled in his low voice. It was the first time in years that Baekhyun called him <em>Sehunie</em> again, it just excited Sehun even more.</p><p>“Baekkie, I can’t behave myself if you keep turning me on like that...” Growling again, Sehun placed his hands on Baekhyun’s lower waist, trying to stop him from rolling his hips.</p><p>“<em>Then don’t.</em>” Baekhyun said while staring at Sehun with his sparkling eyes full of lust. Thereafter, he lowered his body, pressed another seductive kiss on Sehun’s lips and started unbuttoning Sehun’s shirt.</p><p>Of course, Sehun was more than willing to obey his crush’s command - he never wanted to behave himself anyway.</p><p>✧<br/>
<em>- Epilogue: Six months later -</em></p><p>
  <em>이젠 나 홀로 지치지 않도록<br/>
Now so I won’t grow tired alone<br/>
방황하고 또 헤맬 때마다<br/>
Whenever I become lost or wander<br/>
너를 기억해 Angel of my life<br/>
I’ll remember you, angel of my life<br/>
Angel of my life</em>
</p><p>The whole editor team was invited to a photography exhibition that Sehun participated. Sehun’s friend, Bohyun, was the main organiser of this exhibition. This exhibition was a sequel to the one he held before, with a similar theme about the <em>elapse of time</em>. Instead of displaying photos taken constantly over a span of time, they only displayed two photos of the same object, person or scenery the photographer chose. The audience could clearly visualise the elapse of time in the previous exhibition, but this time it would be left to their imagination. </p><p>Sehun and Bohyun approached the group and greeted them. Sehun wrapped his arms around Baekhyun’s waist and kissed him on his cheek. All the others smiled at them knowingly, apparently they were already used to these tooth-rotting moments between the two.</p><p>“Hey guys, this is Bohyun, one of my best friend and a super talented photographer.” Sehun introduced his friend to the group and they took turn to introduce themselves.</p><p>“Nice to see you again.” Baekhyun smiled.</p><p>“Likewise. I didn’t realise you are Sehun’s boyfriend last time we met, you look so cute and I almost wanted to make a move on you.” Bohyun chuckled, recalling their last encounter.</p><p>“We weren’t boyfriends back then...” Baekhyun wanted to explain but was interrupted by Sehun.</p><p>“Yes, my boyfriend <em>is cute.</em>” Sehun tightened his arms, hugging Baekhyun possessively. He placed another kiss on Baekhyun’s forehead, smirked and looked at Bohyun, his eyes saying <em>‘don’t ever think about it’</em>.</p><p>The group then walked around the exhibition hall, stopping here and there to appreciate the photos taken by various photographers. They soon arrived the area where Sehun’s photos were displayed. </p><p>The first set of photo was the sunset at <em>Jeongseojin</em>. The first photo was from Sehun’s portfolio in university while the second one was taken last time he went there with Baekhyun. </p><p>“Sehun oppa, this is absolutely gorgeous.” Joy was completely amazed by the photos. “I want to frame this in my office, it is just so pleasant to look at.”</p><p>Sehun smiled and thanked Joy for the compliment, they proceeded to the next few sets of photos. Soon they reached the last set, everyone, especially Baekhyun, was in awe. Baekhyun was shocked and his face turned completely red within seconds, two of his photos were printed and framed on the wall. </p><p>It was Sehun’s favourite photo of him, taken in Jeju Island, the one Sehun pinned on his wall at home.</p><p>“Oh my... Oh Sehun why didn’t you tell me about this?” Baekhyun flung Sehun’s hand away, questioned while pouting.</p><p>“<em>Love,</em> there will be no surprise if I told you in advance.” Sehun stepped closer and intertwined his hand with Baekhyun’s again.</p><p>“No wonder you insisted in taking a photo at exactly the same spot, with a Jeju tangerine on my hand when we went there...” Baekhyun sighed, finally understood what was the motive behind.</p><p>✧<br/>
Two months ago, Sehun took Baekhyun to Jeju Island to celebrate his 30th birthday. The island didn’t change much since last time they were there with Jongdae, Junmyeon and Minseok. They revisited most of the places they had been to, they even booked the same guesthouse. </p><p>When they went hiking at <em>Eorimok trail</em> again, Sehun gave Baekhyun a Jeju tangerine and asked him to pose like what he did back then. Feeling puzzled, Baekhyun obeyed Sehun’s request and grinned under the clear blue sky. Looking at the nicely taken photo, Baekhyun was pleased to see himself in a much healthier and happier state. It was the widest smile on his face over the recent years.</p><p>It was the first time, that he finally felt like <em>being himself</em> again.</p><p>They spent the last night at <em>Geumneung Eutteumwon Beach</em>, like last time, they lay on the beach mat and talked.</p><p>“Do you remember what did we talk about last time we were here?” Baekhyun asked.</p><p>“Yes, every single bit of it.” Sehun replied without hesitation.</p><p>“I’ve been thinking, did our dreams really come true? To a certain extent, maybe. We are both doing the stuffs we like, getting the recognition, having progression in career. But for me, I feel like there’s still something lacking. <em>The sky is vast, the ocean is boundless.</em> I recall I’ve said this, yet I’ve wasted so much time caging myself in my routine work, in the same city for so long. I start to doubt if I’m really doing the right thing.”</p><p>“Baekkie, it is your life. If you think you are ready for a change, if you want to start pursuing the life you want, you can just go ahead. I’ll be right besides you, wherever you will go.” Sehun turned around and stared at Baekhyun with a firm expression.</p><p>“You know... last time when we were here, I wanted to ask you so badly, <em>do you think if we will be part of each other’s future.</em> But I didn’t, I ended up waiting for 10 years for the answer. I set this all up for myself, I guess.”</p><p>“But we have more years to compensate, right?” Sehun noticed that Baekhyun’s body shivered a bit, probably due to the night breeze. He immediately pulled Baekhyun close and hugged him. </p><p>“One thing is different for sure, you’ll never have to ask me to hold you again. I know what to do now.” Both of them laughed, Sehun turned Baekhyun’s head to face himself.</p><p>“Baekkie, I know I’ve been confessing to you a lot, but I really mean it, every single time.” They fixed their gaze on each other, full of affection. “<em>I love you.</em>”</p><p>“Sehunie...” There was a few seconds of silence before Baekhyun opened his mouth again, “<em>I... love you too.</em>”</p><p>It was the three words that Baekhyun didn’t manage to say on his 20th birthday, he finally, finally got them out of his mouth when he turned 30.</p><p>Sehun couldn’t believe his ears at all, his eyes widened then turned teary within seconds. “Baekkie, did you just say... you love me too?”</p><p>Sehun had been waiting for this moment for months, for years, to be exact. He finally got to hear this confession from the one he loved, it sounded like the most pleasant melody on earth.</p><p>Couldn’t hide his excitement, Sehun leaned towards Baekhyun and kissed him. It was one of the most fervid kiss they had had, their mouths were half-open and their tongues were dancing, chasing each other. Sehun stroked Baekhyun’s nape sensually while deepening the kiss. Baekhyun placed his hands on Sehun’s waist, pulling him closer until there was no space between the two bodies. </p><p>Feeling the need for fresh air, Sehun let go of Baekhyun for a short moment, he looked at Baekhyun lovingly and asked, “then, does it mean that we are... <em>officially boyfriends</em> now?”</p><p>Baekhyun’s face turned rosy when he heard of the word boyfriend, he didn’t say anything but nodded his head. Sehun smiled and his eyes turned into crescents once he saw Baekhyun’s reaction.</p><p>“<em>My beautiful boyfy</em>, why are you so shy?” Sehun approached Baekhyun for a quick kiss again. “We have slept with each other already yet you are still getting shy for this one word, you are so cute.”</p><p>“Shut up!” Before Baekhyun managed to say anything else, Sehun stopped him with another round of passionate kiss, melting his boyfy with his fierce love that grew stronger and stronger with the passage of time. </p><p>✧<br/>
The couple invited their four teammates for dinner after the exhibition, Sehun wanted to thank the ladies for the little help they offered before, while Baekhyun and him also had something to announce.</p><p>“Guys, I hope you’ve enjoyed the dinner. I... we have something to announce...” Baekhyun hesitated, he found it difficult to tell his teammates he would be leaving after their relationship improved significantly.</p><p>“Are you guys getting married?” Mark asked, making the rest of them laugh.</p><p>“Ummm no.” Baekhyun also laughed, “I will be taking a break, a long one, from work next month onwards. Leeteuk hyung and the management have already agreed to this. Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely love my job, and I enjoy working with all of you, especially since we are on good terms now. It’s just, I feel like I’m in need of some new inspiration, and I guess it’s time for me to start pursuing the life that I’ve always wanted to live but was not able to.”</p><p>“Oppa, for how long will you be gone?” Wendy asked. In the past, she probably wouldn’t care, but they started to get close during past months and she knew she would miss her senior while he was away.</p><p>“Probably for a year, Leeteuk hyung said he will start looking for my replacement if I don’t come back one year later.” Baekhyun chuckled.</p><p>“Don’t mind him, we will stop him from doing so. But Baekhyun hyung, you and Sehun hyung really need to come back, we will miss you.” Jaehyun said.</p><p>“We will, we love our work, so don’t worry. We just want to spend more time together, to compensate what we have missed.” Sehun smiled gently, glad that his colleagues were supporting their decision.</p><p>“We will come back with a refreshed mind and more creative ideas. During this year, take the opportunity to do whatever you want, it is a good chance to explore. I have faith in all of you, you will shine.” Baekhyun concluded the night with an encouraging message to his fellow colleagues.</p><p>They were going to spend the last few weeks together in office, thereafter the couple would temporarily bid farewell to their lovely colleagues and their jobs.</p><p>It took Baekhyun one decade to find his old self back, it took Sehun one decade to realise whom he truly loved, it took them one decade to overcome all hurdles and finally be together. </p><p><em>It is not too late to start pursuing your love and your dream now. Carpe diem.</em> </p><p>✧<br/>
<em>기적처럼 내 품에 날아든 Angel<br/>
An angel that flew into my arms like a miracle<br/>
네게서 불어온 사랑이 변화시켜 날<br/>
The love I gain from you changes me<br/>
이젠 두렵지 않아 내 곁엔 니가 있어<br/>
I’m not afraid anymore, because you’re by my side<br/>
이 손을 놓지 않을 테니<br/>
Because you won’t let go of my hand<br/>
You’re saving my life<br/>
Saving my life<br/>
사라지지 마<br/>
Don’t leave me</em></p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
          <p>Yeahhh it’s completed! Tbh I didn’t expect this story to be <em>this</em> long but I’m glad that I’ve finished it! I think Sehun deserves a chance to tell the story from his perspective, even you may still disagree with the way he handled his relationship with Baekhyun. I hope the characters have made you think a bit more on how people may view certain actions or words in completely different ways. It worths to at least try understanding the person and talk before backing away.</p><p>I did spend time to think through the narration pattern and those little parallel scenarios/lines (just wanna do sth different each time - hopefully it worked). I will <em>try</em> to work on my language next haha. I enjoy writing this one and hope you enjoy reading it too. Any comments/suggestions are welcome, you can also find me on twitter/curious cat with the same username :)</p><p>Next one will probably be a short one shot, see you (somewhere in mid/late-Sept maybe)!</p><p>P.S. Jongdae best boy in this ff hahaha<br/>P.P.S. I thought about naming this ff “kiss you when you are sober” lol</p>
        </blockquote></div></div>
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